Many times civilians don’t get it. If a military member tells you they are being deployed, it means they are about to be sent to the battlefields of whatever country we are currently fighting with. It can be a pretty emotionally intense period in their life, so try to be a little understanding.
A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex, she spent the next hour gently scratching and massaging his balls She was so meticulous about it and it was obvious that this was something she loved to do.
The man was thoroughly enjoying it but he was curious about her fascination. He turned and asked her, “Why do you love doing that so much?”
”Because,” she replied, “I really miss mine.”
Certain friends have pointed out that I’ve been behaving differently… I can’t imagine why…
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you’re done you’ll have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: “And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt .”
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?
A: Tell him you’re pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep More soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: “Gosh, I remember these!”
I know that the military has monitored some of the things I’ve posted on the internet, but sadly, no one watches this website. After posting some images of me an my cohorts in uniform, one of my sites kept getting hits from a certain military base known for intelligence gathering. On the other hand, they never bothered to visit this site. You know, I’ve put a lot of work into these panels. Are they really that bad?