I frequently solicit feedback from people around me about these “comics” I make. I don’t know which irks me more. When I can tell they are lying, or when the concept just completely sails right over their head.
A little old guy is walking around in a supermarket calling out, “Crisco, Crissssssscoooo!”
Soon an assistant manager approaches and says, “Sir, the Crisco is in aisle 3.”
The old guy replies, “Oh, I’m not looking for the cooking stuff. I’m calling my wife. She’s in here somewhere.”
The clerk is astonished. “Your wife’s name is Crisco?”
The old guy answers, “Oh no, no, no. I only call her that when we’re out in public.”
“I see,” said the clerk. “What do you call her at home?”
I recently made the mistake of feeding a stray cat thinking I’d call animal control, and it would be taken care of… Um… Apparently, they don’t pick up cats.
Offerings had been down the past several Sundays and the preacher decided he had to do something to change the trend. The next Sunday, as the plate was being passed he said…
“Brothers and Sisters, I don’t like to have to do this, but there is a man in the congregation who is having an affair with another parishioner’s wife, and if there is not at least twenty dollar bills in the collection, I will reveal his name.
Later, as he counted the money he found 50 twenty dollar bills, and a two dollar bill with a note that read “Forever hold your peace, I’ll have that other eighteen dollars before sundown.
So many celebrities have died… And yet so many remain.