More Ginger Jokes

Editor’s note: The Ginger Jokes series has been our most popular.
We have two other pages you may also like to see:

Ginger Jokes
Ginger Jokes Part III


Ginger Baby

A father-to-be paces up and down the corridors of the maternity unit when the midwife suddenly bursts through the doors of the delivery room.

“Your baby has been delivered sir, but I’m afraid theres some good news and bad news”. “oh my god” says the father, “whats the bad news?”

Well im afraid your baby has been born ginger” says the midwife, “bloody hell!!” screams the father in horror, “what the hell can the good news possibly be then!!”

“well fortunately sir” explains the delighted midwife “your child was also born dead!”


Ginger Bet

A ginger and a blonde met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge.

The ginger bet the blonde $50 that he wouldn’t jump, and the blonde replied, “I’ll take that bet!” Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the ginger gave the blonde the $50.

The blonde said “I can’t take this, you’re my friend”.

The ginger said “No. A bet’s a bet”.

So the blonde said “Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O’clock news, so I can’t take your money”.

“Well, so did I”, said the ginger, “but I never thought he’d jump again!”


Ginger  Jamborie

What do a redhead and a freezer have in common?
They’ve both got ice on the inside.

How can two redheads become invisible in a crowd of three?
When they’re with a blonde.

Why do redheads take the pill?
Wishful thinking.

What do you call a good looking man with a redhead?
A hostage.

What do you call a redhead with large breasts?
A mutant.

What do you call a redhead with a blond on either side?
An interpreter.

Why was the first football pitch sketched out on a redhead’s chest?
They needed a level playing field.

Why are redheads flat chested?
It makes it easier to read their T- shirts.

What’s the difference between a redhead and a jelly?
A jelly wobbles when you eat it.

How can you tell when a redhead’s been using a computer?
There are lipstick marks on the screen.

What do you call a redhead whose phone rings on Saturday night?
Shocked.

What do redheads miss most about a great party?
The invitation.

How many gingers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they prefer to sit in the dark.


We have two other pages you may also like to see:
Ginger Jokes
Ginger Jokes Part III

More Ginger Jokes
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Downsizing

I'm kind of getting tired of being on unemployment. Recently I discovered that minimum wage was a bit higher than the last time I was job hunting... Even though I'll lose money, I may just go that route so I can have something better to do with my time.

I’m kind of getting tired of being on unemployment. Recently I discovered that minimum wage was a bit higher than the last time I was job hunting. Because unemployment benefits are based on my last job,  I’ll lose even more money if I actually start working again. I may just go that route anyway, so I can have something better to do with my time.

Downsizing
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Things you can say only on Thanksgiving or Christmas

Thanksgiving in the USA  is Thursday, November 26 this year. Here’s a few common phrases you will probably hear during the festivities (that would likely get you slapped otherwise).

1. Talk about a huge breast

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. It’s cool whip time.

4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst.

5. That’s one terrific spread.

6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some.

10. Don’t play with your meat.

11 Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

12. Do you think you will be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once.

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in?

16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.

17. Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that!

Things you can say only on Thanksgiving or Christmas
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The Old Ball-Bearing Joke

Granted, I stole this old Army gag to make this week's panel, but it's a classic joke. It's also drill weekend once again for me. I'll try not to lose too many ballbearings.

Granted, I stole this old Army joke about placing a private in a an empty room with three ball bearings. In some ways, it’s eerily accurate. Unsupervised privates seem to make a mess of almost anything in their vicinity, then deny any knowledge of how it got that way. They are basically like little kids.

The Old Ball-Bearing Joke
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