A plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for Economy and that she will have to sit in the back.
The blonde replies “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Houston, and I’m staying right here!”
The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and copilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won’t move back to her seat. The copilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.
The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Houston, and I’m staying right here!”
The copilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won’t listen to reason. The pilot says “You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde!”
He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says “Oh, I’m sorry.” She gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section.
The flight attendant and copilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.
For those just tuning in, the story arc in progress is about how Alexis thought she could do a better job running the comic without the guys. Wait... You didn't actually think that I was really going to blow off three quarters of the cast, now did you?
But before you cream your shorts, she hasn't quite relinquished control just yet.
It's rough being an internet celebrity. I can hardly walk out to my car without hordes of fans clamoring for my autograph. Just the other day, PewDiePie was trying to follow me around for a taste of my fame, and I keep having to change my phone number because Fox and Friends won't stop calling to get me to come on their show. You just don't know how it feels.
Of course the truth is that I'm so anonymous that the only people who ever seem to notice me are the police cruisers looking to fill their quotas. Here lately they've been riding my bumper down the street when I'm on my way to work. I'm telling you, self-driving cars can't get here fast enough. The sooner those pricks get put out of a job, the better.
In other news, I'm still breathing. That's a plus. I think I really do enjoy that aspect of life. The other thing I like is the tomato on toast sandwiches I've been chowing down lately. For some reason my tomatoes keep getting smaller every week, but they still taste amazing.
For those who don't know, Ohioans are required by law to grow tomato plants every summer. I've also taken to growing banana peppers as well. I love to pickle them and put them on my pizzas. I've always loved those jars of pickled banana peppers at the store, but these home gown ones really take it to the next level.
OK, so I just thought I toss out a few of these random thoughts for this week's rant. I've got a ton of things to do, so until next time.
This is another JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes are published every Monday through Friday (midnight EST). There is also a comic that occasionally gets posted on the weekend.
Most of the jokes are offensive. This site publishes offensive jokes because offensive jokes make the reader feel uncomfortable with the taboo subject and thus enhances the underlying humor that would simply not be as funny without it.
So what makes a joke funny? Well, it boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn't overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.