Snappy Insults

  • I researched your entire family tree and it seems you were the sap.
  • You are so old, even your memory is in black and white.
  • Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I’ve wanted to cut it down.
  • You’re a person of rare intelligence. It’s rare when you show any.
  • I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
  • I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won.
  • You fear success, but really have nothing to worry about.
  • You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
  • Brains aren’t everything. In fact in your case they’re nothing.
  • Don’t you need a license to be that ugly?
  • I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.
  • I love what you’ve done with your hair. How did you get it to come out of one nostril like that?
  • In the battle of wits you’re an unarmed man.
  • Moonlight becomes you — total darkness even more.