The Neighbor

Over a couple of years Harvey had developed a crush on the beautiful single woman who moved into the house across the street. Every evening he had a clear line of sight to watch her doing yoga in front of her large bay window from his living room chair.

He was surprised one afternoon when she walked across the street, up his driveway and knocked on the door. Harvey opened the door and she said, “I just got home, and I have this strong urge to dance, get drunk, have a good time, and get laid. Are you doing anything tonight?”

Harvey’s lip quivered a little, then he quickly said, “Nope, I’m free!”

“Great,” she said. “Can you watch my dog?”