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Pathos in the Plumbing
Flush Twice proudly presents:
I don't know exactly when it happened. It just happened gradually over time. Some days it seemed like everything was normal, but then other days you passed by as if I weren't even there. I called your name to say hello, and you kept walking. Perhaps you didn't hear me. Perhaps you didn't want to hear me.
We used to share so much together. We'd go out together and have fun. I know... We're both getting older, and hanging out can be complicated, but things seem so different from the way it used to be. It's as if every encounter has to avoided unless you know it will be carefully chaperoned. Remember when you used to call me in the middle of the night for no reason? Naturally you had been drinking, but I was there for you, and you were there for me too.
Of course you still come around from time to time... when you want something. And at least you still brag about me to your other friends when I come through for you. But then you quickly drift away again, all while pretending there's nothing wrong.
It's a one way relationship now. When I try to reach out to you, the gate is locked, the blinds pulled. You spare no expense to make approaching you seem like a bad time. I still can't help but notice that you're very careful not to burn the bridge lest you need something again in the future. Why won't you tell me what went wrong?
When you see me walk into the room, you look startled and nervous. You carefully keep watch over your shoulder to see if I'm making my way towards you. If it seems I'm getting too close, you dart off to avoid even the remotest possibility that we could interact. Did I somehow hurt you?
But then there are those times when you occasionally walk up to me, as if everything were fine, and we were cool. You smile and seem genuine as we talk. It's just so random and out of the blue. You didn't even want anything. For a brief moment, you were the person I knew as a friend.
At least I thought we were friends. I thought we had that rare form of kinship that only seems to exist in legend. People envied what we had, and we took it for granted too, we revelled in it, and then... and then it was gone.
...and I don't know why.
But that's cool. I'll give you plenty of space. If there's one thing I'm really good at when it comes to dysfunctional relationships, it's moving on as if the relationship never existed in the first place.
But still there are those unnerving glances you cast my way. It's as if something was very wrong. It's as if I were now a ghost, and you feel haunted.
Did you like what you read?
So fall is finally here, and it just so happens that it's my favorite season. I love the autumn leaves and the chill in the air. Of all the seasons, the fall gets the award for being the eeriest and spookiest. This week's rant was an exercise in creative writing. Thanks for reading it, and tell me what you think. If it seems like it's going over well, I might do some more.
Once again, a big shout out to George and Glenn for the jokes. I really appreciate the help. If you would like to contribute a joke, please give our submission page a try, or just email me at email@example.com.
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What is Flush Twice?
This is another JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes are published every Monday through Friday (midnight EST). There is also a comic that occasionally gets posted on the weekend.
Most of the jokes are offensive. This site publishes offensive jokes because offensive jokes make the reader feel uncomfortable with the taboo subject and thus enhances the underlying humor that would simply not be as funny without it.
So what makes a joke funny? Well, it boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn't overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
(Just thought you might like to know.)