Investigating Working Conditions

The Montana Department of Labor suspected a rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the agent.

“Well,” replied the farmer, “there’s my farm hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $350 a week plus he gets free room and board.

“The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $300 per week plus free room and board.

“Then there’s the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $15 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.”

“That’s the guy I want to talk to… the half-wit,” said the agent.

“That would be me,” replied the rancher.

Investigating Working Conditions
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More Church Repairs

A minister wasn’t sure about how to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.

During the meeting with the organist the minister asked about what kind of inspirational music she could play after the announcement about the finances to get the congregation in a giving mood.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ll think of something.”

During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.”

Just at that moment, the organist started playing, “The Star Spangled Banner.”

More Church Repairs
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Learning Good Sportsmanship

“Look, Johnny,” said the coach, “I’ve taught you the principles of good sportsmanship. You understand that the Little League doesn’t allow temper tantrums, shouting at the umpire, or abusive language, right?”

Little Johnny nodded, “Yes sir, I understand.”

“Good. Now, would you please explain it to your father?”

Learning Good Sportsmanship
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Sunday, October 14, 2018

As he came to amidst the rubble, his only thoughts concerned his throbbing headache. He pressed his head into his hands in a vain attempt to dull the pain.

“Mister, are you alright?” came a voice from off in the distance.

A small girl, no more than seven years old, stood several yards away while clutching a tattered doll. Her eyes looked upon him with concern and pity, while her question went ignored.

As he stood up, he brushed the dust and debris from his clothing and staggered across the wreckage where a building once stood. The sounds of sirens were approaching, and he knew he didn’t want to get caught up in that mayhem. He had to get away from the area.

“Come on, kid,” he said reaching his hand out to the little girl. “You don’t want to be here when they arrive.”

“But what about Mommy and Daddy,” she pleaded while pointing to the crumbled building.

He looked back at the smoldering heap with a heavy sigh. He knew it would not be possible for anyone else to have survived the blast. Once again, he focused on the approaching sirens and his heart quickened. He reached down and picked up the girl, “They’ll catch up with us later.”

(to be continued…)


And now for the usual weekly stuff:

Once again, thanks to George and Glenn for the jokes. Neither of you ever visit this site, but I’m still grateful for your help.

For those who would like to contribute jokes to Flush Twice, please try our submission page, or just email me at flush2x@gmail.com.

I’m still giving away Flush Twice t-shirts. E-Mail Me with the word T-Shirt in the subject. In the body of your e-mail please include Name, Address, Shirt Size and color. Also tell us which Character(s) you would like featured and you can even include speech bubble text too! Am I crazy for making this offer? Nah. Just thought it would be kinda fun. (Offer good while supplies last, and while I still feel like doing it.)

Pax,

-f2x

Sunday, October 14, 2018
So how would you rate this?