Ginger Jokes Part III

Editor’s note: The Ginger Jokes series has been our most popular.
We have two other pages you may also like to see:

Ginger Jokes
More Ginger Jokes
(These links will also be available at the bottom of page for your convenience.)

Jokes about Gingers: Completely unacceptable… unless they’re funny.

Driving conditions were awful today in downtown London, and a Ginger was run over in the late afternoon!
Citizens spent several hours pushing him into oncoming traffic before someone finally got the sucker!


Why did the Ginger’s boyfriend keep crawling back to her?
She kept stealing his wheelchair.


A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Ginger die in a plane crash and go up to Heaven’s gates together.

When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who says: “Sorry, it’s crowded up here, you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can’t get in.”

He looks at the Blonde, and asks her: “What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” the Blonde replies, “the Titanic.”

St. Peter lets her into Heaven.

Next he turns to the Brunette, “How many people died on that ship?” he asks.

“Oooh, that’s tough, but I saw the movie, and I think it was about 1,500.”

St. Peter says, “That’s close enough,” and the Brunette walks into Heaven.

Finally, St. Peter turns to the Ginger and says: “Name them.”


What do you call a Ginger getting an abortion?
A crime stopper.


Two gingers drove off a cliff in a Vauxhall Zafira.
The police called it “a terrible tragedy”, as the car could have seated 7.


What do you throw a Ginger drowning in quicksand?
His wife and kids.


What would a ginger feel while fatally shooting her husband?
The recoil.


Three teenage girls, one blonde, one brunette, and one ginger were driving along when they had a terrible accident and died. They were all sent to heaven.

At the gates, they met St. Peter. He said to them, “Welcome to Heaven. There is only one rule here, don’t step on the ducks, don’t bother them, just leave them alone. If you do bother them in any way you will be handcuffed to the ugliest guy in Heaven for all eternity.”

The blonde teen thought that this was rather funny and started laughing. Before she knew it there was a loud “QUACK!” She had carelessly stepped on a duck and was handcuffed to the ugliest guy in heaven.

As fate would have it the brunette got careless and stepped on a duck the very next day. She was immediately handcuffed to the second ugliest guy in Heaven.

The two girls sat moping at the fact that they were chained to these people for eternity.

The next day they saw their ginger friend. She was handcuffed to the most gorgeous guy they had ever seen. She looked at them with an angry fire in her eyes and said, “He stepped on a duck.”


What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a ginger?
If you had to, you could eat a bowling ball.


What’s the difference between a ginger and a lawyer?
There’s some things even a lawyer won’t do to people.


How can you tell when a blond is satisfied in bed?
Who cares?

How can you tell when a ginger is satisfied?
She unties you


What was the most unbelievable amazing magical power demonstrated in the Harry Potter movies?
A ginger boy with two friends.


What do ginger kids have to look forward to later in life?
Going gray.


What does a ginger and a refrigerator have in common?
They’re both cold and have no soul.


What do you call it when a ginger’s phone rings on a Saturday night?
A wrong number.


Winter time reminder:
Paint your rocks white in case the Gingers next door have a snowball fight!


Two gingers are in a car. Who is driving?
The constable.


What’s the difference between a ginger and a Styrofoam cup?
Burning Styrofoam is bad for the earth.


What’s the difference between a ginger and a freezer?
A freezer doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out of it.


What’s the difference between a ginger and a snake?
One is an evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.


What’s the difference between a ginger and roadkill?
There are skid marks in front of the roadkill.


How do you save a ginger from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.


You have a gun with two bullets, and you find yourself in an elevator with a deadly viper, a serial killer, and a ginger. What should you do?
Shoot the ginger twice.


Why do gingers smell so bad?
So the blind can hate them too.


What’s the difference between the Loch Ness monster and an attractive ginger?
They have pictures of Nessie.


What did the ginger make for dinner?
Reservations for one.


What’s red and white and peels?
A ginger trying to tan.


How do you get a ginger to start an argument?
Say something to them.


Two  sailors on shore leave, walking down the street. They spot a blonde. First sailor asks his friend “Have you ever slept with a blonde?”

Second sailor replies that he has. They walk on further and see a brunette.

“Have you ever slept with a brunette?”

“Why yes, in fact I’ve slept with brunettes on many occasions”

They walk on a little further, and see a ginger.

“Have you ever slept with a redhead then?”

His companion looks at him and replies “Not a wink!”


Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store?
Her smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

Thanks for stopping by, but there’s more to Flush Twice than just “Ginger Jokes”.
Please be sure to check out all of our other jokes and comics!

We have two other pages you may also like to see:
Ginger Jokes
More Ginger Jokes

Ginger Jokes Part III
1 vote

Senior Moments

Later Years’ Lunch

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.

After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let up for a single minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her,

“While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card!”


Geezer Gas Up

A senior couple pulls up to a gas station.

Attendant: How may I help you?

Old Man: Please fill it up.

Old Lady: What did he say?

Old Man [yelling]: He asked what we wanted and I told him to fill it up.

Attendant: So, where are you heading?

Old Man: To Chicago to see our Grandchildren.

Old Lady: What did he say?

Old Man [yelling]: He asked where we’re going. I told him we’re going to see the Grand kids.

Attendant: It sure is a nice day for a drive.

Old Man: Yes, it’s been quite pleasant.

Old Lady: What did he say?

Old Man: He said its good weather.

Attendant: Where are you coming from?

Old Man: We started our trip from Pittsburgh.

Old Lady: What did he say?

Old Man: He asked where we’re from, and I said Pittsburgh.

Attendant: I dated a girl from Pittsburgh once. She wouldn’t shut up and was lousy in bed.

Old lady: What did he say?

Old Man: He says he knows you!


Seriously, I installed some tracking software, and this is where we are at this moment. While I do maintain this site mainly because I get some personal enjoyment out of it, it also makes me feel good when other people stop by to see what I've been working on. In other words: Thanks for stopping by!

Seriously, I installed some tracking software, and this is where we are at this moment. While I do maintain this site mainly because I get some personal enjoyment out of it, it also makes me feel good when other people stop by to see what I’ve been working on. In other words: Thanks for stopping by!

On a side note, I just want to mention that Flush Twice has actually been moving up in its rankings. While you may note a bit of a dip around the 10th and 11th, keep in mind that I only update on Saturday’s and that would be the 5th and the 12th. I was thinking about doing some non-canonical stuff during the rest of the week, but that would screw up the whole format of the site. I think I’ll just stick to the same old, same old.

Senior Moments
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Cats Vs. Teenagers

Have you ever noticed that teenagers are a lot like cats?

  • Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
  • No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane.
  • All of your efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
  • You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.
  • Even if you tell jokes as well as Robin Williams, neither cats nor teens will ever crack a smile.
  • No cat or teenager shares you taste in music.
  • Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.
  • Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
  • Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating a sense of complete and utter boredom.
  • Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone’s furniture.
  • Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior.
Cats Vs. Teenagers
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More Ginger Jokes

Editor’s note: The Ginger Jokes series has been our most popular.
We have two other pages you may also like to see:

Ginger Jokes
Ginger Jokes Part III


Ginger Baby

A father-to-be paces up and down the corridors of the maternity unit when the midwife suddenly bursts through the doors of the delivery room.

“Your baby has been delivered sir, but I’m afraid theres some good news and bad news”. “oh my god” says the father, “whats the bad news?”

Well im afraid your baby has been born ginger” says the midwife, “bloody hell!!” screams the father in horror, “what the hell can the good news possibly be then!!”

“well fortunately sir” explains the delighted midwife “your child was also born dead!”


Ginger Bet

A ginger and a blonde met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge.

The ginger bet the blonde $50 that he wouldn’t jump, and the blonde replied, “I’ll take that bet!” Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the ginger gave the blonde the $50.

The blonde said “I can’t take this, you’re my friend”.

The ginger said “No. A bet’s a bet”.

So the blonde said “Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O’clock news, so I can’t take your money”.

“Well, so did I”, said the ginger, “but I never thought he’d jump again!”


Ginger  Jamborie

What do a redhead and a freezer have in common?
They’ve both got ice on the inside.

How can two redheads become invisible in a crowd of three?
When they’re with a blonde.

Why do redheads take the pill?
Wishful thinking.

What do you call a good looking man with a redhead?
A hostage.

What do you call a redhead with large breasts?
A mutant.

What do you call a redhead with a blond on either side?
An interpreter.

Why was the first football pitch sketched out on a redhead’s chest?
They needed a level playing field.

Why are redheads flat chested?
It makes it easier to read their T- shirts.

What’s the difference between a redhead and a jelly?
A jelly wobbles when you eat it.

How can you tell when a redhead’s been using a computer?
There are lipstick marks on the screen.

What do you call a redhead whose phone rings on Saturday night?
Shocked.

What do redheads miss most about a great party?
The invitation.

How many gingers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they prefer to sit in the dark.


We have two other pages you may also like to see:
Ginger Jokes
Ginger Jokes Part III

More Ginger Jokes
1 vote

Things you can say only on Thanksgiving or Christmas

Thanksgiving in the USA  is Thursday, November 26 this year. Here’s a few common phrases you will probably hear during the festivities (that would likely get you slapped otherwise).

1. Talk about a huge breast

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. It’s cool whip time.

4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst.

5. That’s one terrific spread.

6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some.

10. Don’t play with your meat.

11 Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

12. Do you think you will be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once.

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in?

16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.

17. Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that!

Things you can say only on Thanksgiving or Christmas
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