The Screams of Heaven

An old woman died and went to heaven. She was chatting it up with Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden, she heard the most awful bloodcurdling scream.

“Don’t worry about that,” says St. Peter. “It’s only someone having the holes put into their shoulder blades for wings.”

The old woman felt a little uncomfortable about this, but carried on with the conversation.

A moment later, there were more blood curdling screams.

“Oh my God!” exclaimed the old woman. “Now what is happening?”

“Not to worry,” said Saint Peter. “They’re just having their head drilled to fit the halo.”

“I can’t do this,” said the old woman, “I think I’d rather just go to hell.”

“Oh, you don’t want to go there,” said Saint Peter. “If you go down there, you’ll be raped and sodomized.”

“Maybe so,” said the old woman, “but I’ve already got the holes for that.”

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