A father was explaining the facts of life to his teenage son. After covering the basic biology, he moved on to the finer points of love-making.
“One thing to keep in mind, son, is that different women say different things during the sex act, even if you are doing the same thing.”
“What do you mean, Dad?” asked the son quizzically.
“Well, for example, their words will vary according to their occupation. For example, a prostitute will tend to say, ‘Are you done yet?’ On the other hand, a nymphomaniac will ask, ‘Are you done already?’ a school teacher will say, ‘We are going to do this over and over again until you get it right!’ and a nurse will say, ‘This won’t hurt one bit’.
“I thought they said, ‘Pull down your pants and bend over’,” quipped the young lad.
“That’s male nurses,” corrected the father, “but let’s move on. A bank teller will say, ‘Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.’ A stewardess will say, ‘Place this over your face and breathe normally.’…
“And what does mom say?” asked the boy.
The father looked down and paused for a moment before saying, “‘Beige.’ She says, ‘I think we should paint the ceiling beige.'”