The Blonde’s Highway Breakdown

A blonde’s car broke down on the Interstate one day.

She eased it over onto the shoulder of the road.

She carefully stepped out of the car and opened the trunk.

Out of the trunk jumped two men in trench coats, who walked to the rear of the vehicle where they stood facing oncoming traffic, and began opening their coats and exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers.

Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in the history of the Interstate occurred.

It wasn’t long before a police car showed up.

The cop, clearly enraged, ran toward the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, “What the hell is going on here?”

“My car broke down,” said the lady, calmly.

“Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?” asked the cop.

She explained to the cop, “Those are my emergency flashers!”

Antique Stagecoach

In 1890, a stagecoach bounced down a rutted road, heading for Dallas.

In the coach were a Texan, a busty lady, and a greenhorn from the East.

The greenhorn kept eyeing the lady. Finally he leaned forward and said, “Madam, I’ll give you ten dollars for a blowjob.”

The Texan looked appalled, pulled out his pistol, and shot the greenhorn between the running lights.

The lady gasped and said, “Thank you, sir, for defending my honor!”

The Texan holstered his gun and said, “Your honor, hell! Just trying to keep down inflation. Around here, a blowjob goes for two dollars.”

Pet Names for Husbands

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.

One woman said, “I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does.”

The second woman giggled and confessed, “I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft.”

The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked, “Say, what do you call your husband?”

She frowned and said, “The postman.”

“Why the postman?”

“Because he always delivers late, and half the time it’s in the wrong box.”

The Nixing Vixens

Harland went to the whorehouse and approached the madam. After quietly whispering something in her ear, the madam made a gesture with her arm and escorted him to a private room.

“So show me what you’re talking about,” she said.

Harland took $200 out of his wallet and laid it on the table. Then he undid his buckle and dropped his trousers to the floor. A an incredibly pendulous 18 inch cock dangled between his legs.

The madam stumbled back in awe. As she recomposed herself she apologized that none of her ladies could handle that deep of a penetration. “I am sorry,” she said, “I could have them lick it and suck on it, but intercourse is out of the question.”

Harland pulled his pants up and picked up his $200, “Well, forget about it then… I can do that part by myself!”