Sunday, March 11, 2018

My Art Evolution

It started with a couple of stick figures who became known as Brandon and Dewey. A couple of characters held together more by circumstance than by friendship.

Fourteen years ago, I probably would have killed to have my art look like it does now. Thankfully it’s changed a lot since then. Those stick figures were used as filler so that the page full of text didn’t look dry and bland. Originally I was using funny pictures that people sent in their e-mails, but when I was cornered on copyright concerns, I thought it best to remove the pictures and just toss in my own doodles and stylizations.

Long gone are those stick figures from 14 years ago. Surprisingly, with nothing other than years of practice, I managed to make comic characters that look like they were done by someone who knew what they were doing. With no formal training or even compatriots to help me learn and grow, I kept at it and picked up tricks and techniques along the way. Is what I’m doing now something that has real artistic merit? I’m not sure, but when I step back and look at one of the comics I make today, I’m seeing something that makes me go, “Wow. That’s pretty good.”

It has to keep evolving though. It’s still nowhere near what I want it to be.

Pax,

-f2x

Crashed His Harley

To avoid hitting a deer, Tom swerved his Harley, lost control, and landed in a ditch. Dazed and confused he crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road.

Just then a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful women who asked, “Are you okay?”

Tom looked up and noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for. “I’m okay I think,” he replied as he pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.

She said, “Get in and I ’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”

“That’s nice of you,” said Tom, “but I don’t think my wife will like me doing that!”

“Oh, come now, I’m a nurse,” she insisted. “I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly.”

Well, she was gorgeous, and very persuasive, too. Being sort of shaken and weak, Tom agreed, but repeated, “I’m sure my wife won’t like this.”

They arrived at her place, which was just few miles away. After a the bandaging and a couple of cold beers, Tom thanked her and said, “I feel a lot better but I know my wife is going to be really upset, so I’d better go now.”

“Don’t be silly!” she said while unbuttoning her blouse and exposing an amazing set of boobs.

“Stay for a while. She won’t know anything..”

Things progressed, and they had some great sex.

And then, they did it again, two more times.

Then, after drinks, she asked, “By the way, where is your wife?”

“Still in the ditch with my Harley, I guess.”

Town of the Fallen

The old priest was not comfortable with his parish members confessing to adultery. From his pulpit he addressed the issue with his flock and said that those who commit such a sin should merely mention they had “fallen”.

Many years passed and the town’s beloved priest died at a ripe old age. A new priest was assigned, and things seemed to be getting back to normal rather quickly.

A few weeks later, the new priest visited the mayor of the town. He told the mayor, “You have to do something about the sidewalks! When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen.”

Realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word, the mayor started to laugh.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about. Your wife fell three times this week.”

Sick Day

Marlin called his employer and said, “Hey boss, I’m not going to make it in today. I’m very sick.”

The boss replied, “Marlin, we’re swamped right now and I need you here today. Just how sick are you?”

Marlin stammered a little and said, “Well I just got done doing anal with my mom, and now I’m about to have a threesome with my sister and a goat.”

The Crusaders Key

During the crusades, young men were expected to join the military and fight.

One young man had just gotten married and was forced to leave before consummating the relationship. She was still wearing her chastity belt and he had the only key.

Concerned about her well being, he met with his best friend who was staying behind. He told his friend, “Keep this key, and if I am killed, you have my blessing to use it. Promise me that you will be an honorable friend and take care of her, and that you will not use it until you have confirmed my death.”

The two men made a pact, and the young man rode off to join the distant battle.

About two hours later, as he was traveling to join the battle, the young man noticed a rider approaching at a full gallop, with a cloud of dust behind him. It was his best friend.

As his friend approached he was waving frantically, with the key in his hand shouting at the top of his voice, “You gave me the wrong key!”

Drug Dealer’s Trial

A man was on trial for selling drugs, and his neighbor was called as a witness.

The defense attorney asked, “Did you ever get any cocaine or other drugs from the defendant?”

“No sir,” answered the man.

“Did you ever get any from his wife?”

“No sir.”

“Did you ever get any from his daughters?”

“Uh, excuse me,” the witness said, “but we are still talking about drugs here, right?”

Sunday, March 4, 2018

My Golden Soapbox

So I’m still in the process of cleaning it up, but I just wanted to mention one of my other sites, “Golden Soapbox”. It originally began before Flush Twice, but I let it go after a few years. Then back in 2011, I re-registered it and tried to create a social networking site with it. Well, that wasn’t working out either, so I just started blogging about a grab bag of topics.

As time went on, there was one subject that seemed to be the most dominant. My recipes. So I deleted everything else. Gone are the rants about Linux, hypothyroidism, product reviews, growing tomatoes, and general bitching. Now I’m up on my Golden Soapbox to show pictures of food that I made, and how I made it.

The recipes were originally haphazardly tossed onto the site, so some of the formatting is kind of ugly. Like I said, I’m cleaning it up, but I just thought I’d mention the site anyways. Now when I bring a dish and people ask about it, I’ll just tell them I got it from Golden Soapbox (dot com).

Don’t worry though, I’m not going to promote it like I do mBlip. Man, I really love that site. Let me know if you’d like an mBlip T-shirt.

Pax,

-f2x

The Commuter Train

A woman wearing a very skimpy outfit sat across from Dave on the morning train.

During the commute the woman made subtle eye contact, suggestively winking, crossing and uncrossing her legs, and even sensually licking her lips.

Dave couldn’t help but watch no matter how hard he tried to avert his eyes. He was starting to get really turned on by the floozy’s show and kept thinking to himself, “Please don’t get an erection! PLEASE don’t get an erection!”

But she did.