Worst. Pickup. Lines. Ever.

I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.
(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let’s get you out of these wet clothes.
Nice legs…what time do they open?
Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
You’ve got 206 bones in your body. Would you like another one?
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
I’m a bird watcher looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher. Have you seen one?
I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
Wanna play army? I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were wearing a braille name tag.
I’d really like to see how you look when I’m naked.
Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway the heaven?
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
Well It’s not going to suck itself.
You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.
You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
My friend wants to know if you think I’m cute.”
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???