Miss Snow White was a randy cow, and desperate for a fuck.
So off she went into the woods, to try and get some luck!
She’d almost given up looking, when she saw some chimney smoke.
Then stumbled on a cottage, and went in for a poke.
Her clothes came off in seconds, and she’d just removed her pants,
When seven Dwarves came marching in, with a merry song and dance.
Snow White just stood there speechless, and thought she was in heaven!
Originally after one good shag, but now she could have seven.
Straight away she took command, “My fanny needs a lick!”
And when one dwarf moved forward, she said “You’d better drop your pick!”
So down he went onto all fours, and said “I ain’t licking that!”
“Not there! That’s my asshole, you DOPEY little brat!”
The next dwarf started blushing, “Do we have to do it here?”
Snow White said “Don’t be BASHFUL! Unless you’re fucking queer!”
So reluctantly he whipped it out, to prove he was no fool.
And Snow White gave a big “Heigh-Ho” as she rode upon his tool.
Now one dwarf wasn’t smiling, ‘cos he hadn’t had a sniff.
And due to his impatience, he couldn’t raise a stiff.
“Relax, you GRUMPY bastard”, so he did as he was told.
And as soon as he was hard enough, he shot his fucking load.
The next dwarf got a blow job, and she took him in quite easy.
But she nearly suffered brain-damage when he sneezed, so he was SNEEZY.
With three dwarves left, she turned and said, “You’re next, I want your knob!”
But no sooner than he entered her, he was sleeping on the job.
“Wake up you SLEEPY idiot!” as she wanted more from him.
And he woke with such excitement, that he filled her hairy quim.
The next dwarf rammed it up her, and shagged her fanny raw.
And dazed Snow White then whimpered, “That should be against the law!”
He made poor Snow White tremble, for he was so big and thick.
“No wonder you’re so HAPPY, with that fucking great big dick.”
With one dwarf still remaining, but feeling rather sore,
She said “You’ll have to use your tongue, my clit can’t take no more!”
And so he put his tongue to work, where others put their cocks.
And ‘cos he made Snow White feel better, she named the last one DOC.
Now Snow White couldn’t do much, with their cum inside her quim,
So she grabbed a cup, and squatted, and filled it to the brim.
So there’s the truth about the dwarves, and how they got their names,
By satisfying miss Snow White, and joining in her games.
There’s one more thing you need to know, and that’s what happened to that cup?
Well think of what you’re drinking…
When you’re drinking 7-UP!!
Gail’s Sunday Pic
Sunday, August 17, 2025
Murphy's Moment
As mentioned a few weeks ago, I lost my beloved orange tabby, Alex, on June 19, 2025. While he had an amazing 16 year run, his passing came much sooner than it should have. I still miss him dearly.
Fortunately cats are pretty easy to come by. All you need is Craigslist and a little patience. After watching religiously for about 7 weeks, anyone could find the exact cat they were looking for... and that's how I got Murphy! Come to think of it, that's kinda how I got Alex as well.
Murphy was born on June 22, 2025. This tasty little hash brown was listed Tuesday night. I texted the number the next morning and went right round to go see him that afternoon. He was perfect, so I paid the $10 "rehoming" fee and took him to be my newest, bestest buddy.
Ten bucks probably sounds like a pretty good deal, right? Well... Yesterday he had his first vet appointment, and the bill wasn't cheap. I already knew he had ear mites because he had been scratching at his ears, so I swabbed them and looked at it under an old microscope of mine. Let's just say they threw in the ear mite cleaning FOR FREE because they were already able to cover a yacht payment with everything else they charged me for!
His follow up booster shot is in 3 weeks. Cha-ching! smh.
As of this Sunday, I've had him a total of about 4 days, and so far he's cost me well over $500! At least he's comfortable and feels right at home. While he can't jump up on the bed yet, his needle like claws allow him to climb up the side of the mattress like Spider-cat, and then he likes to snuggle up with me an Gail... Which kinda worries me, cuz him being so small and all, he's liable to get flattened!
To recap: I got another cat. He's orange, he's smol, and he's a little spitfire. That's about all I have to say on the subject at the moment, but I'm sure there will be more photo ops along the way.
Pax,
-f2xSeptember 2025 S M T W T F S 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 GET THE PLUNGER!
What is Flush Twice?
Flush Twice has been around since May of 2003. It started out as a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes were published every weekday. Over the years, good jokes were increasingly hard to come by, and eventually they got so rare that I just stopped trying to publish them.
Since 2004 there has also been an eponymous comic. I still occasionally publish a new one on Saturdays. It’s also rare anymore, but sometimes it happens.
Here lately I’ve been posting a “Link of the Day”. For the time being, I will be featuring a new website from my enormous collection of bookmarked websites every weekday. None of it is solicited promotions, and no one is paying me to feature their site. These are just websites that at one time I thought were interesting enough to add to my bookmarks folder.
I highly encourage using some kind of ad blocking extension before clicking on any of these links. You’ll also hear me say this phrase a lot about these posts: “They can’t all be winners.” But it’s better than just leaving the site abandoned.
The jokes were generously provided by friends and visitors such as yourself. I want to express my eternal thanks to everyone over the years who helped contribute to the collection.
So what is it that makes a joke funny?
It all boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and I make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.
(Just thought you might like to know.)
Yes, it’s a usable search function! Try it!