I pass by this ancient mailbox every day on my walks. The old rusty box is nailed to an oak that has to be 150 years old. After 6 years of passing it by I decided to open the box to see if anything was inside. After all, there isn’t even a house nearby to which it could possibly serve anyway. Any home it serviced was long ago torn down I’m sure. I noticed an ancient letter inside as you can see in picture. I looked at the post mark date and it said July 7, 1903. Due to age and moisture the addressee on the envelope was not readable, so I opened up the envelope hoping to find some local history and a good story I could share with you. Here is what the letter inside said. “We at Carriage Shield hate to be the bearer of bad news Mr Mallard but the warranty on your buggy has expired. Please take a few minutes to sign up for our 2-horse plan and never worry about those expensive wheel and horseshoe repairs again.” 😂😂

A poor family lives on a farm and they rely on their chickens for income.

One morning, the father walks outside to find the chicken coop empty and the corpses of chickens on the ground.

“There’s nothing that could help get us out of poverty now,” says the dad as he shoots himself.

The mom walks outside and sees the dad and the chickens on the ground.

“I can’t live without my husband,” she says as she shoots herself with her husband’s gun.

The daughter walks outside and sees her mother, father, and the dead chickens.

“I can’t live any longer without my family,” she says as she jumps into the river and kills herself.

The oldest son, 23 years old, walks outside looking for the family and sees them all dead.

“Is there anyway to bring them back,” he yells at the sky.

Poof! A magical fairy appears out of thin air.

“I will bring your whole family back to life, even the chickens,” she says, “if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not, I get to kill you.”

The boy fucks her 2 times in a row and he dies.

The middle son, 19 years old, comes out and sees the fairy. She gives him the same offer as his brother.

“I will bring your whole family back to life, even the chickens,” she says, “if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not, I get to kill you.”

The son agrees to do it but can only do it 4 times. He dies.

The youngest son, 15 years old, comes out and is given the same offer.

“I will bring your whole family back to life, even the chickens,” she says, “if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not I get to kill you.”

The son says, “What if I fuck you 10 times in a row?”

The fairy thinks. She says, “I will bring back your family and grant you fortune.

The son says, “What if I fuck you 20 times in a row?”

She thinks again and says, “I will bring back your family, grant you fortune, and give you a mansion.”

The son thinks and says, “What if I fuck you 30 times in a row?”

She thinks and says, “I will bring back your family and ensure that your family bloodline remains rich for the next generations to come.”

The son says, “Wait, how do I know you’ll survive it?”

“What do you mean?” says the fairy.

“The chickens didn’t.”

A guy in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked
the waitress for a cup of coffee. The guy looked across the
restaurant and asked, “Is that Jesus sitting over there?” The waitress
nodded “yes,” so the guy requested that she give Jesus a cup of
coffee on him.

The next patron to come in was a man with a hunched back. He
shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a
cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, “Is that
Jesus over there?” The waitress nodded, so the man asked her to give
Jesus a cup of hot tea, “My treat.”

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a guy on crutches. He
hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, “Hey there, honey! How’s
about gettin’ me a cold glass of Miller Light!” He, too, looked across the
restaurant and asked, “Is that God’s boy over there?” The waitress once more
nodded, so the man directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of beer. “On
my bill,” he said.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the man in a wheelchair, and touched him and said,
“For your kindness, you are healed.” The man felt the strength come
back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the man and, touched him and said, “For your
kindness, you are healed.” The man felt his back straightening up,
and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out
the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the 3rd man on crutches, The man quickly jumped up, and yelled,
“Don’t touch me! I’m collecting disability!

There were three guys- a sex addict a weed addict and a alcoholic. They went to hell for their sin and were standing in front of the devil.

The devil made a deal with them saying I will lock you in a room for a 1000 years with your temptations and if you get over your sins I will send you back to the land of the living, Earth.

So the sex addict got locked in a room full of attractive women, the alcohol addict got locked in a room stocked with all kinds of alcohol, the weed addict locked in a room full of weed.

A 1000 years later the Devil goes to the sex addict he comes out saying “My dick hurts, and I’m never having sex again”; poof – back to earth.

The alcoholic’s room is opened and he say “My head feels awful and I’m never having any alcohol again”; poof -back to Earth.

Then the Devil opens the weed addict’s room and the Weed addict punches the Devil in the face and says “you forgot my lighter bitch!”

A man buys a talking centipede for $5000, and takes it home in a small box.

After 30 minutes, he opens the box and says “Would you like to go for a pint?”.

Silence; the centipede doesn’t answer. Raising his voice, the man repeats his question, but still no reply.

Becoming agitated, and starting to think he has been conned, he leans forward and loudly shouts the question into the box.

The centipede sticks his head out of the box and angrily shouts back at the man; “I heard you the first time you impatient bastard, I’m putting on my fucking shoes.”

a man was in a party with his friend barney

he asked his friend: “how do you get women to like you so much?”

barney replied: “i have a trick, every time i meet them i squeeze them on the butt, it has some kind of pavlovian effect or something but it always works”

the man then went home, him and his wife haven’t had sex for a couple of months now so he thought he should try this trick.

his wife was in the kitchen, he approached her from behind and squeezed her ass

his wife replied: “oh barney is that you?”

These three women were roommates. One night they all had all gone out on dates and they all came home at about the same time.

The first one said, “You know you’ve been on a good date when you come home with your hair all messed up.”

The second one said, “No, you know you’ve been on a good date when you come home with your makeup all smeared.”

The third one said nothing, but reached under her skirt, removed her panties and threw them against the wall, where they stuck. “Now THAT’S a good date!”

A wealthy man died and went to heaven.

He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter who led him down the streets of gold. They passed mansion after mansion until they came to the very end of the street. Saint Peter stopped the rich man in front of a little shack. “This belongs to you,” said Saint Peter.

“Why do I get this ugly thing when there are so many mansions I could live in?” the man demanded.

“We did the best we could with the money you sent us!” Saint Peter replied.

Friday night, Patrick went to his friend Paddy and said

“Paddy, I need a favor – I’m sleeping with the bartender’s wife. Can you hold him in the pub for an hour after he closes up?”

Paddy was not very fond of the idea, but being Patrick was a lifelong friend, he reluctantly agreed.

After the pub closed, Paddy struck up a conversation with the bartender asking him all sorts of stupid questions in an effort to keep him occupied. After some time, the bartender became suspicious and asked, “Paddy, what are you really up to with all this?”

Paddy, filled with feelings of guilt and remorse, confessed to the bartender and said, “I’m sorry…. my friend Patrick is sleeping with your wife right now and asked me to keep you occupied.”

The bartender smiled and putting a brotherly hand on Paddy`s shoulder, said *”I think you’d better hurry home, my wife died two years ago.”