Monthly Archives: September 2018

The Test in Time

Jeremy nervously looked at his watch as he frantically filled in the ovals with a #2 pencil. He couldn’t be bothered with reading the questions as there wasn’t much time. As soon as he got to the end, he walked to the front of the class and laid the test booklet on the teacher’s desk.

With an arched eyebrow, the teacher remarked, “Finished so soon, Mr. Ryan?”

With a desperate gasp, Jeremy said, “I think I’m gonna be sick!” before quickly running out the door and down the hall.

He burst into the bathroom and ran to the sink. As he caught a glimpse of the youthful reflection in the mirror, he turned on the cold water and splashed his face while breathing heavily. He could feel the room spinning around him as he fell to the floor, briefly losing consciousness. When he opened his eyes again, the room was dark.

“Did it work?” he wondered aloud. Jeremy struggled to his feet and carefully made his way to the door. The hallway was dimly lit by the sunlight coming through the glass doorway at the end. He made his way outside to the fresh air, leaving an abandoned and dilapidated building behind him.

He reached in his pocket for his phone, and dialed a number in his contacts. A woman answered the phone and announced the name of the company before asking how to direct the call.

“Alison, it’s Jeremy. Let me talk to Chris.”

“I’m sorry, sir. Who would you like to speak with again?” the woman asked.

“Chris. Chris Ryan. You know, the guy in charge of the Temporal Engineering department.”

“I’m sorry sir, but we have no such person or department,” came the voice over the phone.

Jeremy dropped the phone to the ground as he dropped his head into his hands. He sobbed briefly. His tears turned to laughter as he raised his head and lifted his clenched fists in victory.

Now that the story time is out of the way…

As always, a warm thank you to George and Glenn for taking the time to send me this week’s jokes. It means a lot. It’s easy to contribute jokes! Try our submission page, or just email me at flush2x@gmail.com.

Pax,

-f2x

Friendship Disillusionment

I don’t know exactly when it happened. It just happened gradually over time. Some days it seemed like everything was normal, but then other days you passed by as if I weren’t even there. I called your name to say hello, and you kept walking. Perhaps you didn’t hear me. Perhaps you didn’t want to hear me.

We used to share so much together. We’d go out together and have fun. I know… We’re both getting older, and hanging out can be complicated, but things seem so different from the way it used to be. It’s as if every encounter has to avoided unless you know it will be carefully chaperoned. Remember when you used to call me in the middle of the night for no reason? Naturally you had been drinking, but I was there for you, and you were there for me too.

Of course you still come around from time to time… when you want something. And at least you still brag about me to your other friends when I come through for you. But then you quickly drift away again, all while pretending there’s nothing wrong.

It’s a one way relationship now. When I try to reach out to you, the gate is locked, the blinds pulled. You spare no expense to make approaching you seem like a bad time. I still can’t help but notice that you’re very careful not to burn the bridge lest you need something again in the future. Why won’t you tell me what went wrong?

When you see me walk into the room, you look startled and nervous. You carefully keep watch over your shoulder to see if I’m making my way towards you. If it seems I’m getting too close, you dart off to avoid even the remotest possibility that we could interact. Did I somehow hurt you?

But then there are those times when you occasionally walk up to me, as if everything were fine, and we were cool. You smile and seem genuine as we talk. It’s just so random and out of the blue. You didn’t even want anything. For a brief moment, you were the person I knew as a friend.

At least I thought we were friends. I thought we had that rare form of kinship that only seems to exist in legend. People envied what we had, and we took it for granted too, we revelled in it, and then… and then it was gone.

…and I don’t know why.

But that’s cool. I’ll give you plenty of space. If there’s one thing I’m really good at when it comes to dysfunctional relationships, it’s moving on as if the relationship never existed in the first place.

But still there are those unnerving glances you cast my way. It’s as if something was very wrong. It’s as if I were now a ghost, and you feel haunted.

Did you like what you read?

So fall is finally here, and it just so happens that it’s my favorite season. I love the autumn leaves and the chill in the air. Of all the seasons, the fall gets the award for being the eeriest and spookiest. This week’s rant was an exercise in creative writing. Thanks for reading it, and tell me what you think. If it seems like it’s going over well, I might do some more.

Once again, a big shout out to George and Glenn for the jokes. I really appreciate the help. If you would like to contribute a joke, please give our submission page a try, or just email me at flush2x@gmail.com.

Pax,

-f2x