A Warm Bucket of Shit

Once upon a time in a secluded village, there was a restaurant that boasted they could serve any dish to anybody.

One day a man walked into the establishment and was seated. When the waiter presented a menu, the man waved it away and said, “I hear you promise to serve any dish to anybody. Is that true?”

The waiter assured him that was the case.

“I’d like a warm bucket of shit,” said the man in a clear and calm manner.

The waiter was shocked with disgust, but after receiving clarification to be sure their was no mistake, he took the order back to the kitchen.

The head chef was appalled, but curious to see where this was going. He went back to the mop closet and pulled out a galvanized bucket. He then approached each of the kitchen staff to drop-trou and contribute to the bucket.

With the ring of a bell the chef announced that the order was up, and the waiter presented the bucket to the patron.

The staff watched in horror from the kitchen door as the man fed spoonful after spoonful into his mouth and swallowed every lump of turd and runny juice of diarrhea. He even stuck his head into the bucket to lick the sides and bottom clean. After his meal, the strange man left a rather large sum of money to accommodate the “cooks”.

A week went by and the same man returned to request the same meal. Again the chef passed the bucket, and again the curious man gobbled down the poo. As before he left a hefty lump of cash to show his appreciation.

This continued week after week until it seemed almost routine. No one even gave it a thought when the bucket was passed around and it was their turn to shove out a log. All seemed to be well until one day when the waiter came back with a bucket of shit dumped over his head. There was shit streaming down his shirt and trousers as he stumbled back into the kitchen.

“Sacrebleu!” cried the chef. “What happen?”

The waiter wiped the shit from his eyes and face and said, “He found a hair in it.”

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