This is the curator’s corner; a place where I express my own thoughts about whatever crosses my mind. The jokes are much more fun to read. This section of the site can safely be ignored.
As the pandemic continues to spread throughout the ranks of the willfully ignorant, my smile is only diminished by the fact that the vast majority will survive. In any event, a certain demographic has lost its members in record numbers, and nearly everyone else is noticeably unsympathetic with that loss.
Currently about 250 people a day are dying from the ‘rona in the US. There for a while it got up to almost 4,000 in a single day. All told, nearly 1 in 5,000 Americans have died from the Wuhan flu, which makes me wonder, how are we going to kill the other 4,999?
Obviously you can’t kill them with the vaccine. If you count every person who died after taking any of the covid vaccines, and just assume it was the vaccine that did it, the kill ratio is only 1 out of every 56,000 people. And that’s about how many people would have been expected to die if there were neither a China Flu nor a vaccine. It looks like if we want to kill more people, we are going to need a lot more stupidity since science has failed us once again.
Kudos
I just want to acknowledge that Big D threw in a joke that will appear next week. This week’s jokes were all stolen from reddit. To keep me honest, you could try using the submission page a little more regularly, but in any event there are going to be jokes here by hook or by crook.
Also, I can’t say for certain if there is going to be a comic this coming weekend. I’m going to try, but work might get a little hectic.
So if you live in a decent sized city, you might expect to find a DC fast charger somewhere in town, but I live in Dayton, and as I write this, there are currently no “DC fast chargers” in the city of Dayton. There aren’t really all that many “level 2” charging options either. This is kind of ironic given to how “progressive” Dayton tends to be politically. In any event, I’ve had this Leaf since January, and had yet to fast charge it.
The closest DC fast chargers are north of Dayton in Huber Heights and Springfield, neither of which are places I need or even want to go. But I do like to go south and visit Cincinnati from time to time. The good news is that Cincinnati is only a 60 mile drive on the interstate. The bad news is that 60 miles on the interstate would pretty much drain my Nissan Leaf. Good thing Cincinnati has a few DC fast chargers in their greater metropolitan area, eh?
So that’s what Gail and I decided to do this weekend. We would take a trip down to see the Ohio river, and it’s a good thing there was a DC fast charger right off exit 21 on southbound I-75… Except it was out of order. Ah shucks. Fortunately, the slower level 2 charger they had was still working. I plugged the car in for 22 minutes. It wasn’t much, but it did give me an extra 10% on my battery for a whopping 55¢, and the confidence to continue to my destination.
So we drove through Eden park and stopped at the overlook. There we saw the majestic riverboats as they paraded along the Ohio. It’s quite a view from up on that hillside overlooking Kentucky. There were also quite a few people around me too. For some reason people were approaching me and asking questions like, if I come here often, or do I know how to find a certain trail. I’m not used to being that sociable so Gail and I got back in the car and drove around checking out the many amazing examples of Victorian architecture in the neighborhood.
Eventually I felt like it was time to head back. I still hadn’t found a working DC fast charger, so I pulled over and used my phone to search the area for one. Eventually I found one. It was 20 miles away in a Walmart parking lot. Not exactly “on the way” but not entirely out of the way either.
When I got to the location, I had 23 miles left on the “Guessometer”, and naturally there were a bunch of gasoline powered cars parked in front of the DC fast charger. It was totally ICE’d. Another Leaf owner drove by with an angry look of disgust, but to be fair, the entire Walmart parking lot was packed, and this charger was placed in a rather prime parking location with minimal signage. The paint on the asphalt had all but washed away too. I could understand how someone would pull in there and not think there was anything special about that space.
But I needed that charger. With only 23 miles of range left, and nothing else close by, I parked near that space, and waited. It wasn’t long before the Walmart shoppers came back to their car and pulled out of the space. I quickly pulled in. I plugged in my car and accessed the app on my cell phone. The charger came to life.
As this was my first time using a DC fast charger, I was surprised by how noisy it was. You could hear a rather loud fan motor running under the unit as if it were an electric leaf blower. The most concerning aspect was the occasional whiff of a fan belt getting way too hot. Perhaps this is why the working status of fast chargers seems less reliable than a McDonald’s ice cream machine.
Still I waited patiently as the battery was charging. It actually went really quickly, starting at 23% and ending 16 minutes later at 85%. For a mere $4.80, I gained almost 16 Kilowatt hours or about 60 miles of range. Not bad. That was more than enough to get home, and the price is comparable to what you would pay if you were driving on gasoline.
It was a warm day with temperatures in the 80’s. As I left the Walmart parking lot I was a bit startled by the fact that my battery pack temperature indicator had risen from 6 to 8 bars. I heard that these fast chargers generated a lot of battery heat, but seeing my battery that hot was momentarily alarming. It doesn’t red line until 11 bars, so it could probably have stood a second fast charge that day. The car drove fine, and I set in a course to my dad’s house. 20 miles and 30 minutes later we pulled into his driveway with more than enough left over for me to get home.
Of course the rest of the day was the usual visit with Dad. Gail got in plenty of exercise and we had a nice supper. I took a nap on his couch and drove home. All in all a pretty good day.
And Now For The Math
The trip odometer indicated that I had driven 140 miles and I still had 30% charge when I got home. Including the $1.40 worth of electric from my own home meter, it looks like the trip cost me around $6.75. With gas being around $3/gallon in most places, that would buy me 2.25 gallons of gas, which calculates to about 62 miles per gallon cost equivalent. When you do the math, it always comes out significantly cheaper to drive my Leaf than to drive my GMC.
Please keep in mind, the Nissan Leaf was intended as a short range commuter car. Long range EV’s such as the Tesla Model 3 or the Chevy Bolt EV wouldn’t even blink at driving 140 miles on a single charge. They also have active battery thermal management that can handle repeated fast charging as well. When you consider the battery capacity, the heat issue and a general lack of charging infrastructure, taking a Leaf on a road trip is kinda dumb, but I’d still do it again.
Kudos
So thanks to TOR, and reddit for the jokes this week. Next week is another week of reddit jokes, but if you want to get a few jokes in for August, please jump on over to the submission page, and copy/paste or type in a joke or ten. I should have a comic ready for the 24th, so stay tuned!
On the one hand, people there are starting to accept me as one of their own, and I hate to admit I’m starting to feel like I belong in this place. It had been a rough start and there are still patches of 20 grit personality conflicts, but when the the most influential bosses say things like, “I want you to do it, because I know I can count on you,” it acts like a soothing lube for when the rest of the place is going in dry.
The pay is also nicer than if I were an Amazon delivery driver, and if I stick around I may just see my way to finally getting out of debt and building up a tolerable retirement account… which would be nice.
Of course the down side is that there is still a lot of policy shifting bullshit, pointless time consuming red tape, unreasonable shitheads, and a physical toll on my body that is extremely difficult to manage at my age. I might have a few hours of relative calm at night, but more often than not I get pulled in three or more directions at once. This results in irreconcilable conflicts and impatient tempers flaring along with angry shouting. Naturally this leads to my nerves fraying beyond the pale. Not fun, but somehow they’re growing on me a little.
So that’s been my week. How’s your week been?
Kudos
So thanks for nothing ya freeloading bums. The submission page has been languishing in neglect for the past two weeks, and there’s only a week of Big D’s jokes left in the queue. Don’t worry about it though. I just ripped a bunch of jokes off reddit so we should be OK for a while. It’s deep into summer here in the best hemisphere, and the heat makes doing things feel unpleasant.
So AT&T had their chance, and they blew it. All I wanted was an internet rate that was $50 a month or lower. I felt that was more than reasonable, and they simply would not budge. Even after I canceled the service, they continued to stand firm, and even doubled down a little by glitching out whenever I try to check for new deals. Fortunately for me, it looks like they are being rendered irrelevant.
As some of you may recall, last time it was a fight with Spectrum, and I vowed NEVER to do business with them ever again. AT&T was not available at that time, so I resorted to using a wireless provider for my home internet. The only problem I had was that 4G/LTE data was not unlimited, and I had to be very careful with how much internet I was using. I had it down to a science. I paid $50 a month for 24GB of data from Mint Mobile. (Actually it was 2 x $25/month for 12GB, but whatever.)
Then AT&T finally came along and offered me fiber for $50/month. After the first year they tried to raise my rate, but I talked them down, unfortunately after the second year, no dice. That is why I recently canceled AT&T at the end of April.
Fortunately I found another MVNO called Tello. Their service has provided me with 25GB of 4G/LTE data for $40, and whenever I ran out I just drop another $40 for another 25GB. That has been working out pretty good except that my devices are using up a hell of a lot more data than they used to.
Seriously, I would come home from work only to find that between my smart home devices and computer auto-updates, nearly a Gigabyte was gone before I even had a chance to check my e-mail. At $1.60/GByte that shit gets expensive and paying AT&T $60/month might actually have been more cost effective.
But then I heard that T-Mobile was offering a new UNLIMITED 5G wireless home internet service for $60/month. Hmmm… Interesting! AT&T has legit competition! I checked into it, and it was available where I live, but I wasn’t quite ready to commit… That was until they offered a permanent $10/month discount for new customers! That means the service would be $50/month. That’s my sweet spot!
Unfortunately signing up for their service is a bit of a hassle. You have to give a lot of sensitive personal information to customer service reps with thick foreign accents over the phone. Even though these people were super friendly and helpful, it just feels super uncomfortable because of all the scams and identity theft going around these days. They even required me to do a temporary lift on my credit freeze, something I didn’t have to do back in January when I got my car loan!
If all goes well, my new “Internet Gateway” will ship sometime in late July, as the devices are currently on back order. While there is no equipment fee, they still own the device, and it costs $370 if anything should happen to it. In all fairness, AT&T’s modem had the same deal. but I’d prefer the option to own my own equipment from the start, even if I had to pay for it up front.
So we shall see how this internet service pans out, and I will report back warts and all. Currently T-Mobile home internet is not available in all areas, but since they don’t have to lay down physical lines, it should be coming to your town soon. After all, more internet options means more competition, and more competition generally brings prices down. Let us hope that the age of shitty ISP practices will soon come to a close, and may bundle pricing rot in hell.
One last ironic note: Both Mint Mobile and Tello are MVNO’s that lease bandwidth on T-Mobile’s towers. So no matter what, I’m using T-Mobile. And T-Mobile’s towers are connected via AT&T’s fiber, so no matter what, I’m still using AT&T. That’s hilarious!
Kudos
With work and all, I am still relying on the generosity of people like you to submit jokes via our submission page. After you enter the joke, it will go straight into the “Pending” queue. Once there, I will briefly review it, edit it if necessary, then schedule it.
If you will do that, I’ll try to keep the comics coming, and who doesn’t love seeing “Gail’s Pic of the Week”? There are sure to be more of my rants too! With all that entertainment, what’s not to love?
I am still pretty stoked with my car, and like anyone who gets infatuated with their toys, I want to learn as much as I can about it. There is only so much I can learn on my own, but thanks to the wonders of the internet, I can join one of the many social media forums to ask questions and get demoralizing replies from complete strangers!
My car is only being used as an example here. You can find social media for just about any passion project imaginable, and they all follow the same basic pattern, and this week I would like to share my observations on the structure of these social groups.
In all boils down to your founders, founders’ friends, groupies, newcomers, trolls, and usurpers.
The founders are the ones who started the community, set the stage, and worked to build a following. They encourage newcomers to join, but paradoxically they don’t really like a lot of the newcomers because they eventually see them as parasitic or possible marauders. Occasionally, the founders are replaced by usurpers, but more on that later.
Founders’ friends are people the founders knew from outside the group. They have a tendency to use their relationship to the founders as leverage within the community. Sometimes they even start to bully other members. When a community becomes toxic, they are usually to blame.
Groupies are the long time fans and contributors of the community. They typically don’t hold any positions of real power within the community, but they know the ropes and can use that knowledge to their advantage. You may also find entire subgroups within this group.
And then there are the newcomers. People who show up looking to join the community for various reasons, and are therefore the most diverse aspect of the group, and they can be broken up into the invited, the referred, the naive, and the cringe.
The invited should be obvious. A founder invited them, and at first they get preferred treatment. It is not uncommon for founders’ friends to get jealous and snipe these people, but sometimes they fit in just fine and move on to become founders’ friends or groupies.
The referred show up when a group member or even someone else recommends the group. They have a better than average chance at fitting in, but they were interested in the group’s main focus prior to knowing that the group existed. These people were not looking to join if someone else had not prompted them first.
The naive are those who recently became interested in a subject. Maybe they bought a telescope or a car or a comic book, and are now looking for like minded people to learn and share their experience and sought out a group to help them. The odds are against them when it comes to clicking with the group, but occasionally it can happen.
Finally we get to the cringe. They also come in a variety of flavors, but their main feature is that their interest is more focused on the community or group than on the interest of the group. Sometimes it’s like, “Hey guys, I bought the decoder ring! Can I join your club now?” They are essentially attention whores. Sometimes if the cringe type does not get the attention they crave, they can morph into one of our next two types: The trolls and usurpers.
I think we all know what trolls are, but just in case: Trolls are bad faith actors. They are there to mess with people. “Don’t feed the trolls” means never engage with them in discourse. If you take the effort to explain something to them, it will be in vain. If you argue with them, it will also be in vain. Any acknowledgement of a troll is likely to lead to problems for the community.
Finally, we get to the usurpers. They do not spend a lot of time chit-chatting with the community. These are entities that wish to take over a group. The usurper can be an individual, a private group, or a corporate interest. Basically they saw that some community existed, and decided they wanted to annex it for themselves. Sometimes they try to sway people to follow them instead, and sometimes they try to convince the founders to hand it over. Sometimes there is even an amicable exchange of funds. In any event, they want to be your group’s new leader.
If you look around, you’ll see this fascinating structure exists in all social settings. You’ll find it where you work, in schools, churches, cults, and anyplace people gather together on a regular basis. In modern times it is how online forums are structured. Even some families follow this.
While I’m sure you can get more granular, these are the main types that I could think of. Did I miss any?
After Thoughts
I hope you enjoyed this week’s exposition. It was something I started writing a few weeks ago, and today I thought I’d just go ahead and publish it.
In other news, I think my new job might actually be starting to grow on me a little, and it might just work out after all. Sorry Amazon.
Kudos
Once again, thanks to our main contributor, Big D. The submission page remains open for more jokes. As of this writing, there are currently 3 weeks worth scheduled in the queue.
I am still on the fence with my new job. Sometimes I think it will work out, but then things go badly, and I end up wishing I had stuck to my original plan of working as an Amazon delivery driver. It really is starting to feel like I am trapped in an abusive relationship.
Only I am not trapped. If this keeps up much longer, I will bail and go with my original plan A. The money is good at my new job, but it ain’t that good. Amazon drivers work ten hour days four days a week. Three days off every week? YES PLEASE!
Overtime is available too, so that’s also nice.
Kudos
Thanks again for leaving us jokes on the submission page. Eventually things will have to get back to normal… whatever normal is anymore.
When I first brought Gail home from the farm, she threw up on me. For the next several months Gail would just about always get car sick within a mile or two. She was even unsure of how to get into the car, and I had to help her into the vehicle up until a few months ago.
The good news is that Gail is now an old pro at getting into the car. She can even hop up into the Envoy without any trouble. Keep in mind that Gail is only 1 year and 10 months old at this time. I’d say she is doing pretty good for a gal her age.
Practically all dogs love to go for car rides. They love sticking their head out the window, and they love the sights and smells. Even if you are merely going to the store, the dog loves it when you let them tag along for the ride.
Of course some people don’t like it when you take your dog out for a ride. They like to point out that the temperature in a car can soar to over 104°F in under 10 minutes even on mildly warm days. And yes, people who leave dogs in hot cars for an extended time should be held accountable, but it’s the 21st century you fucking overzealous busybodies.
Whether it is my Leaf or my Envoy, I can leave the AC running while I run into the store. It could be over 90°F outside, and the dog is doing just fine. In fact, my vehicle’s AC is probably cooler than my house. I’m cheap, and I keep my home thermostat on 80°F in the summer, meanwhile the car is blowing out an icy blast that can give my cheeks frostbite.
So before you get all judgmental because you see a dog left in a car, take a moment to notice if maybe, just maybe the the car is humming, and that maybe the AC is on, and the dog is fine. Take a moment to check for that before you get all sanctimonious in the parking lot, you attention seeking narcissistic bag of shit.
Cheers!
Kudos
Once again, thanks to Big D. I really appreciate that you’re keeping the jokes queued up for me on the submission page.
You know how people are usually warned against associating with other people who have a lot of baggage? Well, it turns out there is a lot of baggage where I am working, and some of the relationships around there are kind of weird. I have never claimed to be at the pinnacle of mental health, but the more I get to know these people, the more dysfunctional they become.
Don’t get me wrong… I like weird, but this is more like a factory full of a bipolar paranoid schizophrenics with Tourrette’s. Not quite the quirky fun I aspire to.
While I am still struggling to keep my head above water in this place. There are times when things click, and I think, “Yeah, this is going to work out just fine,” only for something stupid to happen two minutes later, and I am back to thumbing through the listings on Indeed again.
I want this to work out. The pay is good, the actual machinery I work on is cool, but my feet are killing me and the people are crazy, and it’s not the fun quirky kind.
Kudos
Once again, thanks to Big D and TOR. Thanks for keeping the queue filled up by usingthe submission page.
So the comic is on hiatus again. That’s temporary, but unavoidable. I’ve decided to maintain this space, and therefore move Gail’s pic ahead of the comic in the layout.
Things are still shit, but I’m managing.
Kudos
Of course none of this would be happening if Big D and TOR weren’t putting jokes into the queue by using the submission page. Thanks so much! It really means a lot right now.
So the new job is not going well, and there really is not much else I can say about it. I have been putting in applications with other employers, but so far no new offers. Until the situation improves I simply cannot devote any time to Flush Twice. I am dealing with too much as it is.
Flush Twice has been around since May of 2003. It started out as a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes were published every weekday. Over the years, good jokes were increasingly hard to come by, and eventually they got so rare that I just stopped trying to publish them.
Since 2004 there has also been an eponymous comic. I still occasionally publish a new one on Saturdays. It’s also rare anymore, but sometimes it happens.
Here lately I’ve been posting a “Link of the Day”. For the time being, I will be featuring a new website from my enormous collection of bookmarked websites every weekday. None of it is solicited promotions, and no one is paying me to feature their site. These are just websites that at one time I thought were interesting enough to add to my bookmarks folder.
I highly encourage using some kind of ad blocking extension before clicking on any of these links. You’ll also hear me say this phrase a lot about these posts: “They can’t all be winners.” But it’s better than just leaving the site abandoned.
The jokes were generously provided by friends and visitors such as yourself. I want to express my eternal thanks to everyone over the years who helped contribute to the collection.
So what is it that makes a joke funny?
It all boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and I make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.
