Though somewhat rarer than the "good-ol'-days", many companies still offer paid holidays to their full time employees. My employer actually gives me Thanksgiving and Black Friday off with pay. Since I celebrated my 21st anniversary at work only a few weeks ago, I also have quite a bit of vacation time at my disposal.
Sadly, it's not enough for a permanent vacation, so I try to find ways to maximize my time away from work. My annual Thanksgiving stay-cation is a perfect example of how I do that. Using just three vacation days, I can take the entire week off! I do a similar thing for Christmas too.
Now you may be saying, "But Diet, doesn't your employer think it's pretty shitty of you to take so much time off around the holidays?" To which my reply is, "Who care what they think? I want my fucking time outa here. I've earned it, and they're going to give it to me."
I don't usually put my foot down in these areas, but this is one case where giving me time for myself is really in everyone's best interests, and they've never once turned down my annual Thanksgiving stay-cation request.
Kudos and Promos
Thanks for the jokes, George. If anyone out there is wondering what happened to the other guy, well... I'm still wondering about that too. Consequently I could use all the jokes I can get. Do you have a joke we can tell? Submit jokes via our submission page, or send an email to email@example.com.
I'm still offering those Flush Twice t-shirts for free! You even get to tell me what you want it to look like. Please use this handy e-mail link: Gimme my FREE T-Shirt!(Limit one T-Shirt per household, and I reserve the right to refuse your request if I suspect bad faith.)
Flush Twice is a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes are published every Monday through Friday (midnight EST). There is also a comic in the sidebar that updates every Saturday. We’ve been operating since May of 2003.
Jokes are generously provided by visitors like yourself. If you would like to contribute, please check out our submission page, or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. If you know anyone who constantly e-mails you jokes, forward them to us! We’ll take what we can get!
So what makes a joke funny? Well, it boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and we make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.