One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he’s wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with The Devil.
The Devil: Why so sad?
Guy: Why do you think? I’m in hell.
The Devil: Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here… Do you drink?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
The Devil: Well you are gonna love Mondys.. On Mondays that’s all we do is drink. Whiskey, brandy, rum, tequila, beer…we drink until we throw up and then we drink some more! It doesn’t matter because you are already dead!
Guy: That sounds great.
The Devil: Do you smoke?
The Devil: You’re going to love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! If you get cancer – who cares! You’re already dead!
The Devil: Do you gamble?
Guy: I do.
The Devil: Wednesdays you can gamble all you want…blackjack, roulette, poker, whatever… If you lose your shirt…who cares!
The Devil: You into drugs?
Guy: You don’t mean…
The Devil: Yes, Thursdays are drug days. Help yourself to all the drugs that you want! Who cares… you’re dead!
Guy: I never realized Hell was such a swinging place!
The Devil: By any chance are you gay?
The Devil: Ooooh – you’re gonna hate Fridays.