Psychiatric Rounds

A psychiatrist was doing his rounds in a mental hospital.

In the first room he saw a patient standing on his bed and swinging an imaginary bat. He asked the patient what he was doing.

The patient said, “I’m not going to be here forever, so when I get better I want to be a baseball player.”

The doctor remarked that was a good goal to have and moved to the second room where he saw a patient standing on his bed swinging an imaginary golf club.

The doctors asked him what he was doing and the patient replied, “I’m not going to be here forever. When I get better I want to be a golfer.”

The doctor said that it is good to have goals and moved on to the third room where he saw the patient standing on his bed pouring a bowl of cashews down his pants while performing pelvic thrusts.

The doctor asked, “hat the hell are you doing?”

The patient responded, “I’m never getting out of here! I’m fucking nuts!”

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