Death Valley Delivery

As the new truck driver, Sam had to make a delivery to Death Valley in California. When he returned from the trip he informed his boss that if he ever got assigned to go out there again, he would quit.

The boss was not very sympathetic, and mentioned that his Death Valley account was one of his most profitable.

“Now see here,” said Sam in protest. “When I arrived it was 128 degrees Fahrenheit. After just a few minutes I was so miserable I was afraid I was going to die.”

“Well, it doesn’t look as though you succumbed to the heat,” chided the boss.

“That was the other problem,” complained Sam. “After the two hours it took them to unload the truck, the heat made me so miserable I was afraid I wasn’t going to die.”

Sunday, January 20, 2019

Back on First

So last week I got a call from work. They wanted me back on first shift, and they had already let the last remaining 3rd shift temp go. To be honest, I was relieved. I had had enough, and was eager to return to days.

Don’t get me wrong. I actually enjoy working 3rd shift, but this time it was different. It wasn’t like it used to be. I couldn’t just go in, do my job, and go home. I had to deal with a whole bunch of random chaos every night.

So what’s it like now that I’m back on 1st? Well, it’s basically still chaos, but at least there are other people I know and trust to help me through it.


Kudos

Some of the daily jokes were provided by George, but a couple were left in the queue by an anonymous donor. Thanks goes out to George and whoever the mystery contributor is. It means a lot. If anyone else would like to add jokes to the site, you can do so on our submission page, or send an email to flush2x@gmail.com.

Pax,

-f2x

Highway Hijinks

During a terrible storm, most of the highway signs became covered with snow. After conducting an extensive study, the state decided to raise all the affected signs an additional 36 inches at a cost of six million dollars.

A TV news channel decided to interview some of their local residents to gage the public sentiment.

“That’s an outrageous price!” said a local farmer, “but I guess we’re lucky the state handled it instead of the federal government.”

“Why is that?” asked the reporter.

“Because knowing the federal government, they woulda decided to lower the highways!”

Children’s Career Choices

In Mrs. Winslow’s third grade class, the teacher was going around the room asking the children about what they might want to become when they get older.

There were the usual choices, doctor, fireman, nurse, and so on. But then she got to Jason.

“When I grow up, I want to draw comics!” said little Jason.

The teacher furrowed her brow and said, “That sounds like fun, but you can’t have it both ways.”

Emotional Mowing

It was a beautiful sunny day, and Marty was on riding mower cutting the grass when he abruptly came to a stop and began to weep.

A neighbor trimming his hedge noticed this and ran over to see if he could help.

“I’ll be fine,” said Marty. “I’m just going through a rough patch.”

From Dust to Dust

Little Johnny approached his Sunday school teacher and asked, “Mr. Withers? Is it true that we came from dust?”

Mr. Withers smiled and said, “Why yes, Johnny. We all come from dust.”

“And is it true,” continued Johnny, “that when we die, we go back to dust?”

With a more solemn look, Mr. Withers nodded, “Yes, Johnny. When we pass we go back to dust. Why do you ask?”

“Well I think there’s a man under my bed,” said Johnny, “but I’m not sure if he’s coming or going!”

Smoking Cessation

Buddy was talking to his friend, “I went to my doctor to see if he could help me give up smoking. He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate.”

His friend nodded in bemusement and asked, “So how’s that working out for you?”

“Terrible!” exclaimed Buddy. “I can’t get the chocolate to light.”

Sunday, January 13, 2019

Ever Wonder How I Do It?

When I make a comic, I start by building the character(s). In the old “stick-figure” days, the characters were made from scratch every time, but these days I have extremely large image files with all the pieces that make up any given character. I select and move these pieces around to form the completed pose and expression. Sometimes there’s a bit of airbrushing. Occasionally I’ll revise and update the character’s components if I discover a new way to make it look even better.

After that, I will select or build the scene(s). Again, in the old days I made the sets in the bitmap editor, but these days all the backgrounds come from a modified 3D game engine. Using my own textures, I’ve built several buildings. Brandon’s house is actually based on my own home, but the office building is an original design. So I load one of my maps, move to the point where I want to set up the scene, and take a screen shot. I then load the scene into the bitmap editor and tweak it as necessary. To be honest, I re-use a lot of those screenshots because “they work”.

The next step is to resize the character(s) into the scene(s). This is just a trial and error thing to find that spot and size that looks right. If the set would overlap onto the character, such as Brandon’s legs under the desk, I will carefully select the part that overlays and make a copy of it. After the character is placed in the scene, the copied section is pasted back on top of the character. I might even include a custom prop or two and paste them into the scene for good measure.

Using the square select tool, I would then crop the scene(s). There’s a lot to consider here too, like don’t cut off the feet, or putting a little extra space above their heads. It then gets resized to fit a template that will hold either one, two, or three panels. Carefully I paste the panel(s) onto the template.

Now comes the dialog. I have a speech bubble template that I created. I type in what the character is saying and copy/paste the bubbles onto the comic, taking great care to position them so they read left to right, top to bottom, and don’t cover anything important. After that I apply the tails and aim them at the character’s mouth. Finally, I clean up any stray pixels and add in the title of the strip.

Once the panel or strip is complete, I’ll save that version, and then make a copy that gets resampled to a smaller size for uploading to the web. My original stays with me as a kind of “Master” file in case there’s ever a problem. Since the originals are of a higher resolution, they might also be useful if I ever need to print a comic or make a T-Shirt.

Of course this is a rather time consuming process. Believe it or not, a single character on a single panel can take 30 minutes or more. A three panel strip with multiple characters in each panel can take several hours. Of course I also look for any time saving tricks along the way, such as reusing part of a character’s pose and the set, but making the comic is still embarrassingly time consuming.

Well, I really hope you found that interesting. If you did, be sure to click on that thumbs up button, and be sure to subscribe to our channel so that you’ll never miss another episode. As always, thank you for watching.

Man, I watch too much mBlip.

Settling Into the New Place

I wanted to mention if you are still having security certificate issues with this site, you might try clearing your browser’s cache. It could still be using the old certs from the previous host, and of course that’s not going to fly on the new server. The https://flushtwice.com address should always immediately forward you to https://flushtwice.com without any errors.


Kudos

The daily jokes for this week were provided by George. Thanks, George. It means a lot. If anyone else would like to add jokes to the site, you can do so on our submission page, or send an email to flush2x@gmail.com.

Pax,

-f2x