Sunday, February 18, 2018

“Fontaneity?”

Today I wanted to talk more about the font I mentioned in the blurb of yesterday’s comic. The original first font has kind of been overwritten and lost, but there are examples of it in the archives.

Since I wanted a kind of handwritten font, I intentionally aimed for sloppiness. It was to look like the penmanship of a mildly gifted third grader.

The points on each font face were numerous and haphazard. That actually made it difficult to edit into a reasonable threshold of legibility. Nevertheless, I was proud of my creation. It was totally original.

Each letter had unique points because I hand “clicked” each point on each letter. That meant that the b, d, g, p, and q were not very uniform. Every letter was made a little “different” to give it that handwritten feel.

But that individuality came at a cost. There was a legibility limit to how small the font could get. While one should always practice brevity in comics, my speech bubbles could easily dominate the panel due in part because my font had to be big to be readable.

So the other day I sat down and redesigned the font. It was a major revision. Gone are the numerous unique points on every letter. Simplicity is the goal. The b, d, and p are now the same points only flipped, and letters like the n and u or t and f are basically the same. Every character borrows from another to create uniformity, and the font looks almost entirely different as a result.

I really like this updated font, and I hope you do too. I’m still a little apprehensive about updating the site’s logo, so I guess it’s going to take some getting used to.

Pax,

-f2x

Special thanks to all the joke contributors this week. I really couldn’t have pulled it off without you. If you’d like to contribute your jokes to this site, just forward your forwards to flush2x@gmail.com. We never use your e-mail to solicit or spam you, and you’ll be helping to keep Flush Twice a fun and active “Joke of the Day” site.”

Sunday, February 18, 2018
Hey you! I know you\'re busy, but pick a star and click it!

Hits: 2

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Sliding Downhill

Every Saturday I go to visit my dad at his house, and I always take my dog Grace along, but this isn’t about that.

So they recently they opened a new Hardee’s near my dad’s house, and Dad wanted to go there for supper. It sounded good to me too. So the three of us got in the car to get some delicious take out.

Dad and I went inside to get a good look at the menu. The first of the four TV screen menus was dedicated to promoting sliders. Grace always gets a small sandwich when we go out like this, and a slider would be perfect for her.

The girl behind the counter informed me that she couldn’t serve me a slider because they were out of slider buns until Thursday. When my dad asked, “Well couldn’t you just…” she cut him off and said she’d have to ask the manager.

OK, so normally I would have gone nuclear at this point, but it’s a fucking slider, not an international conflict. Still, it really got in my craw over the way this had been handled.

Never mind the fact that they ran out of buns. That shit happens. The “buns won’t be in until Thursday” kind of irked me, but that’s not the worst of it either. Cutting my dad off without hearing his proposal wasn’t very nice, but I could tell from her tone she’d been dealing with this all day.

Having worked a few fast food places in my youth, I knew from experience that you typically offer the customer something of commensurate value for the inconvenience, especially when 25% of the store’s promotionals are pushing the sliders. You don’t just drop that shit in the customer’s lap with, “I’ll need to check with my manager.” Have a fucking backup plan in place already.

The girl wasn’t trying to be rude either. She was just doing what management left her with, and when you have bad management, talking to the manager can turn a shaky dining experience into a shitty one.

Fortunately, Grace didn’t mind getting a cheeseburger instead of a slider. It just felt like they could have handled their bun shortage a little better. Great first impression Hardee’s. Good luck at your new location.

Pax,

-f2x

Sunday, February 11, 2018
Hey you! I know you\'re busy, but pick a star and click it!

Hits: 0

Sunday February 4, 2018

Settling In

As boldly announced late Thursday, we have a new web host running on a more modern platform. This upgrade came with a bittersweet realization. Flush Twice sees less than 40 visitors per day.

How do we know this? Well, on the backend of this site I run a visitor counter. Now in the past, it was polluted with crawlers and spambots. You could tell because it showed the most recent IP addresses, and randomly checking an address number would rarely be originating from an ISP, which would have indicated a person. Instead, most of the IP address turned out to be from some random hosting site, which would indicate a bot.

Fortunately the new host has something that naturally filters out around 99% of the bots: Enforced SSL encryption. Because bots don’t typically want to waste their time trying to establish a secure connection, forced encryption is like spraying Lysol on bacteria, but in this case the bacteria are the bots.

Even though that number is barely over a single visitor every hour, I’m actually impressed by how high that number still is. And you know what? I feel confident that this number will increase over time.

Furthermore, I replaced the old “NewStatPress” with “WP Statistics”. I couldn’t do that on the old hosting site because their version of PHP was too old. As a result I get a few extra bells and whistles. I’m being fully transparent. Every post has a hit count at the bottom of it, and if you’re reading this in the sidebar, you’ll see the visitor count for today and yesterday below this post. Keep in mind that “today” starts at midnight EST.

So there you have it. I only wish people would send me more jokes. My current contributors are a little burnt out, and it’s looking pretty thin in the queue… Oh I better stipulate the jokes have to be ones we haven’t posted before, and they should be funny. Don’t worry about format or spelling, because I’ll clean that up when I post them. Anyway, send me your best jokes, and if you have a friend that always forwards them to you, then forward them to me! As always my e-mail address is flush2x@gmail.com

Pax,

-f2x

Sunday February 4, 2018
Hey you! I know you\'re busy, but pick a star and click it!

Hits: 1

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Major Behind The Scenes Change!

I’m very pleased to announce that Flush Twice has successfully been migrated to a new webhost!

What? Why? Is this still the same site?

Yes, I’m still in charge around here, and everything is running great. I just signed on to be hosted by SiteGround for MANY reasons, but here’s a few things you can enjoy:

  • Faster page loads!
  • More reliable uptime!

… and my favorite:

  • —- HTTPS! —-

The other thing I like is they actually do have 24/7 customer support. My trusty old webhost of 12 years was bought out by Endurance International Group a while back, and they pretty much got rid of all their technical support. When I had a back-end issue with Flush Twice, I couldn’t get ahold of anyone to help me. SiteGrounds has support, https, and a more modern interface.

It’s taken me a while to figure out this new hosting site, but I think we’re gonna like it here.

Pax,

-f2x

Thursday, February 1, 2018
Hey you! I know you\'re busy, but pick a star and click it!

Hits: 1

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Moving Right Along

So “Art Evolution” is the way an artist’s work changes over time. Back in 2004 I drew stick figures, but that evolved. By the end of the first year, you couldn’t really call them stick figures anymore. The characters were still very rudimentary until the seventh year when the limbs tapered and I started drawing hands. In 2011 I started using a 3D engine to create the backgrounds, or as I call them: “sets”. A lot has changed, but my characters are easily recognizable from their humble beginnings.

Yesterday’s comic featured Alexis and Birdie. I remember the first time I showed those characters to one of my coworkers. She laughed at my comical attempts to put boobs on a stick figure. Later on when I tried to make actual characters, their breasts ended up looking like a couple of gumdrops stuck on a male torso. I’m actually pretty embarrassed even looking at those old designs. I mean, what was I thinking?

Today their bosoms look like they were illustrated by a person who’s actually seen a woman, and just this past week I finally finished upgrading their templates. (Yes, I make and use character templates. Don’t judge me!) At one point I made a test image of Birdie in a skirt. She looked very neat and feminine. I almost wept.

In the past I’ve avoided including the females in the story because they are inherently more difficult to depict. With my latest technique, I hope to put more of that reluctance behind me. Don’t hold me to it, but maybe in a year or two, I might even introduce a few more female characters.

My art evolution has been slow, but that’s OK with me. Now if only my humor and script writing abilities could improve as much, then this comic might be as good as “Gamer Chicks”. I know it’s a pretty lofty goal, but I’ve failed enough in the past that failure doesn’t really bother me anymore. It’s the “not trying” aspect that really gets to me.

Pax,

-f2x

Sunday, January 28, 2018
Hey you! I know you\'re busy, but pick a star and click it!

Hits: 0