Sunday, January 7, 2024

It’s just so surreal…

Yesterday marked 10 years to the day of my mother’s passing. Dad and I went out to dinner to pay homage in her memory. Like the decade before, I never would have dreamed we’d end up where we did.

I still maintain that somewhere along the way, I ended up in the “bad timeline”. I’m not saying that things are all that bad, or that I regret my decisions. On the contrary, I’m where I am today in spite of my decisions. No matter what choices I could have made, this is where I was fated to be… and it’s so unsatisfying.

On a lighter note

My comic is 20 years old this month! Think about it… 20 years ago I started putting pictures of stick figures up here in an attempt to dress up a rather boring hand coded html page. Seeing how it started and how it turned out is kind of neat. It has certainly gone through some dramatic changes from those original daily panels to my current sporadic offerings. I wish I could have combined the naive wit of my youth with my current “drawing” abilities. I’ve become far too jaded in my old age and it puts a damper on my creativity.

Of course looking back at some of my early work, I’m not so sure my “wit” was all that great either. The “art” was definitely bad… And now that I’m looking at it, the gags weren’t really all that great either, but I was putting out a daily panel rather consistently for a while there.

Yeah, now that I think about it… those old comics sucked. As I’m glancing through them I feel myself cringing in disgust… Wow… Maybe I do have some regrets after all! Oh those wasted hours I spent navel gazing to come up with crap that makes Chis Chan look inspired! Thank god no one is actually reading this shit!

So to wrap it up…

Happy New Year, everybody! I’m really not sure how much stuff I’ll add to Flush Twice in ’24, but I’ll get to it whenever I get the chance. Be sure to like and subscribe, and leave a comment down below if there’s anything you’d like to see happen over the next 12 months.



Sunday, April 30, 2023

Career Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes!

I took a manufacturing job back in August with a new company. Suffice to say I’d rather not say, but if I did happen to say, you’d recognize the name immediately. It’s a Fortune 500, but not the Walmart, Amazon, McDonald’s kind, so yeah, we’re playing in the majors.

My career trajectory has had a few interesting turns. Previous to ’95 I was a job butterfly. I flitted around from job to job, some good, some bad, but never stayed anywhere for any significant amount of time. One year I went through 10 different employers, and never once during those days did I ever go on unemployment or welfare. Jobs came easy for me, and I always paid my way.

Back in ’95 I landed a position as a Robotics Technician for a company controlled by General Motors… But I didn’t actually work for GM. I absolutely love robots. I had that job for about two years, but things started getting rather dicey around there, so I got out. Good thing too, because they went out of business less than 6 months later.

So in ’97 I took a job at a plastics company. At first I couldn’t believe I had found such an amazing place. The pay was nothing to write home about, but the work was easy, the environment was laid back, the coworkers were great, the benefits were decent, and the 3rd shift hours worked well for me. After a few years I was even able to buy a house, but 9-11 happened less than a month later and everything was different.

The aftermath left me feeling a bit gutted, and I wanted to do something. While still working at the plastics company I joined the Army Reserves back in the fall of 2005. It’s something I look back on fondly, but I really think it was a major mistake on my part both financially and physically. Other than being able to say I was there, I gained no benefit from that experience. After 6 years I got out. Two years later my honorable discharge arrived in the mail. That’s all I have to say about that.

Back to the plastics company where I was still employed: Over the years things changed. The benefits dwindled, the hours grew longer, the pace grew more frantic, a lot of coworkers retired and/or died, and while I eventually ended up in a leadership role, I felt something was very wrong. So I got a job working for Amazon delivery.

Yeah, but I never actually made it to Amazon. A head hunter caught my resume and saw robotics and plastics. I was a perfect fit for this tier 1 auto supplier, and the money was actually really good. I was on track to pay off all my old debts in under two years but 10 months later I bought a new car, and a few months after that things started going off the rails. They fired a bunch of people that shouldn’t have been fired and it started a chain reaction. People were already overworked, so the resignations started piling in. On top of that, they were increasing monthly insurance premiums by $250! Suddenly this wasn’t looking like a place I wanted to be anymore, so my resignation was about to be added to that pile.

But before I left, I started putting out job applications on Indeed, and wouldn’t you know it, I got a lot of responses. Some good, some bad, but then there was this one response from a long shot. I honestly didn’t believe it at first. They reached out again, but I thought it was just some automated form they send to everyone who clicked. After the 3rd Letter I called them. Like a dork, I naively asked if they were serious about wanting to hire me, and the person said, “Yes! We’ve tried to contact you three times already!”

Sometimes I can be such a dense headed putz! Fortunately for me, their impression was more professional, and the interview went great! I got the job, and kissed my robots goodbye for a second time. I really miss those guys.

So in a way it’s like when I started working at the plastics factory. I’m on the night shift, which is what I prefer, the work is easy, the environment is laid back, the coworkers are great, they benefits are nice, and frankly the pay ain’t too shabby. Like most companies, they have their strengths and weaknesses, but over all, I feel like this is a place I can hang around till I retire.

So that’s that. I’m still alive and kickin’. The house is a mess, but I’m grateful to have a home. I still owe an obscene amount of money to my creditors, but my bills are paid. I’ve even been dating someone who I have almost nothing in common with, but we like each other’s company, and she doesn’t seem to mind my warped sense of humor. She’s also trying to get me to lose weight and make better food choices. (Yes, I am way too fat again. Go figure.)


So a special thanks to everyone who’s contributed to the content of this site over the years. I’m sorry I haven’t been maintaining it of late, and even sorrier still that I have decided to retire the submission page. It isn’t here now. The submission page went away. The submission page is gone.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this site just yet, but if you have any suggestions, you can leave me a comment here or contact me through email. My username is flush2x on gmail, and from there I’ll let you figure it out.



Sunday, August 14, 2022

New Day, New Job.

So it should be obvious that Gail is a completely black dog, right? But occasionally, the lighting in the room will impart a reddish or brownish hue on the fur, and the camera will pick up on that hue. That’s just a lighting thing, and I thought people knew and understood that. It’s like if you show someone a picture of a person holding up the leaning tower of Pisa, they understand that it’s just a perspective trick, and that the person is not actually holding up the tower.

But the weird thing is how many times people will remark, “Oh, is she a chocolate Lab?” when one out of the six pictures I showed them happens to have ambient lighting reflecting off the coat. I really kind of wonder how they would react if I said, “yes” to that question, because maybe they would just leave it at that, but no, I tell them that she is a black lab, and that it was just the lighting in the room.

For some reason they always double down and remark, “Really? Her fur looks brown right there! Are you sure?”

I would think I would know if my dog had brown fur, but now, no matter what I say at this point, the person is either going to gas light me or go full on stupid by insisting that my dog, who is obviously stark black in every other picture, is in fact a chocolate lab, and I just haven’t realized it yet.

I’ll be starting my new job next week, and at some point people are going to ask me questions about myself, and the subject of pets is bound to come up. As the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words, so when I scroll through the photos of Gail on my phone, I will be waiting for that moment when the person I’m showing them to asks, “Is she a chocolate Lab?”

And this time I might just say, “Yes.”


Thanks Big D and TOR for dropping off some jokes last month. They will finally be featured this week. Sorry about the delay. The submission page is still the best way to share jokes with me because they are automatically added to the queue.

No promises on when the next update will be. I’ll do my best to put something together when I find the time.



Sunday, May 15, 2022

It’s not COVID

For the past 3 days I’ve been sick as a dog. I did that “at home” test they send you in the mail, and it was negative, so I guess I don’t have to quarantine. I just stepped out of the shower, so for the moment I’m experiencing some relief from the congestion.

If you noticed the picture up above, that’s my new car. It’s a 2022 Kia Niro EV, and it’s been jinxed. Since I got it, it’s already been in a wreck and had a flat tire. Hopefully I’ll be getting the car repaired in a week or two. It needs a new lift gate and the rear bumper needs repainted. I don’t know what the deal was with the tire. It just started going flat, but that was an easy fix.

After I bought this new car, I sold my Leaf. The dealership I bought my Kia from tried to lowball me on the trade, so I took it to the Kelley Blue Book website. Believe it or not, I sold it for over $1000 more than I originally paid for it. The dealer then tacked on another five grand to sell it on their lot. I’ve been watching my old Leaf on the Autotrader site. It’s a nice car, and I really hope it sells soon. (* Just checked. and it’s gone already!)

So yeah, this Niro is a fully electric vehicle (BEV). It’s amazing how many times I’ve had to explain to people that you cannot put gasoline in it. It has an advertised range of 239 miles on a full charge, and more or less, that’s what it gets. I’ve been limiting my charge to 80% and it easily gets around 200 miles of range. I charge it about twice a week.

One of my favorite aspects of this car is when you turn on the lane keep, lane follow, and adaptive cruise control while going down the highway. It’s not quite self-driving, but it’s pretty damn close. When traveling along a well marked road, I only have to occasionally bump the back of my steering wheel with my knee to keep the system active, and most of the time I can just relax and enjoy the ride. You actually can install with Openpilot on this car to get an even more robust self-driving effect.


So it’s the strangest thing… Someone or something keeps posting stuff that’s not jokes to the submission page. They are surreal word salads that don’t make any sense. I’m just guessing it’s some sort of bot and added a challenge question to the submission page to try to block them. There is, however, one actual joke for this week. Thank you, TOR.



Sunday, April 10, 2022

A personal update on what’s been going on in my life:

OK, so things have been happening. I’m still working at the same place. I even got a raise. I guess they like me. Lord only knows why.

I sold my Nissan Leaf for $1000 more than I originally paid for it and bought a new 2022 Kia Niro EV. It was rather expen$ive, but it’s a very nice car. I’ll probably do a rant about it soon.

I scheduled all the jokes in the queue. We run out after Tuesday. I’m not really too worried about it. It’s kind of hard to find any new jokes out there that haven’t already been published here, and the last few years have seen a lot of repeats/variations of the same jokes. You can’t publish new jokes when there aren’t any.

I am seeing a podiatrist. My feet are in surprisingly bad shape. The x-rays showed significant arthritis and of course lots of spurs, but thankfully no cancer. With enough cortisone injections and prednisone, I can stand to walk again, but this has some unpleasant and sometimes foreboding side effects. Getting old sucks.

So that’s the basics. I’ve been super busy, but at some point I would like to get back to ranting, making comics, and telling jokes. It’s just going to be a while.


Thanks to those who added jokes to the queue. I know things haven’t been very active around here lately, but if you add a joke to the submission page I’ll eventually get around to publishing it



Sunday, December 12, 2021

Big Auto is Big Bullshit

I am really starting to hate the automotive industry. So much of it is a racket, and here’s a little secret: A large part of what you pay for when you buy a car is production scrap. That’s a little fact they fucking hate, but it’s the truth. Ironically, a lot of the scrap is created because of stupid policies so they can claim they’re being “responsible” or “sustainable” or “going green” or whatever buzzword they think will get them a promotion. It really is funny how car executives are so concerned about their image, but they never seem to realize that their narcissism is not very attractive either.

Every month the scrap rate is too high, the production numbers are too low, 12 hour shifts are the norm, burn-out is an understatement, people come, people go, and the pricks calling the shots keep blaming “lazy” workers. It’s funny just how far they will shove their own heads up their asses to avoid the blindingly obvious. Rushing people, overworking them, and deliberately trying to make their work environment uncomfortable because some psycho-dipshit convinced them it would improve productivity… It is all so incredibly myopic and stupid, I would not have believed it, had I not witnessed this farcical nonsense in person.

The amount of waste created by LEAN, Kaisan, Five S, and “the like” is a disgrace, and let me be clear, it is all a fraud. No matter what they tell you, the ideas still come from the top down. If they give credit to someone on the line it was only because they were toeing that line while someone higher up had already been musing the idea all along. The thinking goes that it would look more down to earth if one of their “epsilons” got the credit. In reality, it looks depressingly stilted and forced.

And the saddest part is, they can’t even build the fucking cars anymore. Have you seen the new car lots lately? Pickin’s are fucking slim, folks! They keep blaming it on the chip shortage, and yeah, there is a bottleneck there, but there is far more to this car shortage than a lack of Taiwan microchips. Think about it: After covid hit, industry developed and distributed hundreds of millions of doses of a new type of vaccine based on mRNA that requires only the most sophisticated technology that the world has ever known, but for some reason, they can’t make the fucking computer chips needed to drive a car?



OK, well I hope you enjoyed my little angry rant. I just want to say thanks to whoever for putting in a couple of jokes. I went ahead and queued them up for Monday and Tuesday. As always, the submission page is at your disposal.

Also I want to mention that I am still basically on “hiatus”. That just means that for the foreseeable future, updates will continue to be far and few between.



Sunday, October 31, 2021

OK, I need to take a little break.

Not going to beat around the bush or go into any sort of sob story. I’m taking some time off. I just need to recharge is all. It’s not like I haven’t taken more than a few hiatuses, and I will eventually come back.

I always do.



Sunday, October 24, 2021

And That’s That.

So yeah… I just finished burying a second relative in less than two months. Happy Halloween, I guess. Now the family is going to have to find someplace else to go for Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. Family gatherings are going to feel very weird for a while.

But time marches on, and with the business of funerals out of the way I can begin working on finding a good podiatrist who can help me with a rather persistently painful heal spur. After entertaining a myriad of hayseed folk remedies at work that are all but guaranteed to make the situation much worse, it is time to give an actual professional a go. Unless you are a licensed medical doctor, kindly keep your medical advice to yourself.

There is one thing I would like to rant about. This fall went from oppressively humid 80 degree weather to a bone chilling wet and dismal 55 degree weather. It has my sinuses all fucked up, and my head is killing me.


No one has sent in any jokes… again. Maybe it’s these dismal “rants” that’s driving everyone away, and honestly, right now I don’t really care. The submission page remains open in case anyone is interested, but I’m just going to continue stealing jokes from reddit.

Fake it till you make it.



Sunday, October 17, 2021

I Like the Night

The days are getting shorter, and the sun is getting lower in the sky. As a third shift worker, this is great news. It is not as bright outside during the day, and my light-blocking window shades are more effective at darkening the room, and this allows for better quality sleep.

Of course I also like the concealing nature of night as well. This may sound weird, but I do not feel quite so self-conscious when I go outside in the dark.


Speaking of the dark, I am still going through some pretty dark times. Jokes this week are courtesy of reddit. Of course our submission page remains available to any interested party. Otherwise, I will see you next week.



Sunday, October 10, 2021

For me, this is still the bad timeline

Of course it could always be so much worse, but there are an overwhelming number of things beyond my control that ensure my life is one painful blow after another. Recently I lost a loved one, and soon I shall lose another. There have been enough of these tragic moments that they are starting to define what my life is about.

A year ago I lost another cousin, the year before I lost Grace, the year before that I lost my sister, and so on, and so on. Add to it all, the growing fragility within my own aging body, and it would seem like a pretty bleak and miserable existence. And still society makes us feel guilty if we aren’t enjoying every moment to moment, as if pain and suffering should never be acknowledged.


Sorry to be such a downer this week. We do have one user submitted joke, and a few jokes from reddit. If you would like to contribute a joke, head over to our submission page and type one in.

Yeah, I wasn’t able to make a comic this week… Due to recent circumstances, it might be a while.