Labor Pains

A wife is going into labor at the hospital with her husband close by. The doctors comes in and says “we have a brand new device just invented by world class scientists that allows the father of a child to take some of the mother’s pain while she’s giving birth.”

The doctor asks if the husband is interested and he replies, “I would like to be the first to use this device. I want my wife to be as comfortable as possible.”

The wife’s labor intensifies and she begins to writhe in distress, so the husband asks for 20% of the pain. The doctor hooks up the device and amazingly the wife becomes more calm and the writhing stops. The husband says, “Wow this is nothing doc I can take more, go ahead and crank it up to 50%, I want my wife to be even more comfortable.”

So the doctor accepts his request and gives the husband half of the pain. Almost instantly the wife stops crying out in pain and is giving birth in near silence. The husband is satisfied but notices she is still in some pain so he says, “I can’t go on seeing her uncomfortable, go ahead and give me 100% I can take it.”

The doctor reluctantly agrees and transfers all the the wife’s pain to the husband. The husband is once again unimpressed by the pain and says, ” Wow this is nothing. I knew women exaggerated childbirth, I hardly feel anything.”

Not long after the couple gives birth to a baby boy. They stay overnight for tests and are released from the hospital the next day. They arrive home with their new bundle of joy and find the mailman dead on the front porch.

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