The Truth Will Get You Off

It was after dinner when Jerry realized he was out of cigarettes. He decided to pop down to the local bar for a pack, telling his wife he’d be right back.

When Jerry got to the bar, the bartender offered him a cold beer on the house, so Jerry decided he had time for just one. He’d been nursing it along when a gorgeous blond came in the door, but he looked the other way. She went right over to him and sat down. One thing led to another and she invited him back to her apartment.

Back at her place they went at it like crazy, as their passions took over. The next thing Jerry knew it was four o’clock in the morning. Jumping out of bed, he shook the girl awake and asked if she had any baby powder.

“Yeah, in the bathroom cabinet,” she said still half asleep. He dusted his hands, drove home at ninety miles per hour, and pulled into the driveway to find his wife waiting up for him with a rolling pin in her hand.

“So WHERE have you been?” she screamed.

“Well, you see honey,” Jerry stammered, “I only went out for cigarettes, but Morty offered me a beer and then this beautiful blonde walked in and we got to talking and drinking and she invited me back to her place…”

“Wait a minute,” snapped his wife. “Let me see your hands,” as she eyed the whiteness of his fingertips. Turning on him furiously, she said, “Don”t you EVER try lying to me again, you rotten little bastard! You’ve been bowling again!”

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